April 16, 1999

Gray static fills the screen.

''Do not attempt to adjust your TV. We are controlling what you will see and hear. For the next few minutes, sit back and watch as we explore John (expletive) John Leary.''

JFL

(Note: this film is all shot on ''old-timey yellow film.'')

ANNOUNCER: For some men, power rots the soul. Such is the case with the president of XWL. Since he has seen the ratings and merchandise sales increase in recent weeks, he has dished out cash to those who kiss his ass.

Serpent (played by Hack Viciously): Give me just eight minutes of air time to talk about how I'm gonna kick some ass in an evil fan favorite way, and then another 10 minutes to do it. Then let me cut myself and give me $700,000 while you're at it. And bring back my best friend, that cripple Kobra. Give him more money than your loyal employees, but make sure he only wrestles two times a month.

John Leary (Kevin Mash): Why not? I love you over the hill main eventers. While you're here, I might as well throw some ideas at you. First, let's make all the people in the last three months of their contract lose. And then, if they're not signed by June, let's injure them and then embarrass them on TV.

Victor Slaughter (Lowlife) (knocks on the door and comes in): It's me, your highest paid jobber. May I orally satisfy you for giving me such a huge contract? I am now the third highest paid wrestler in XWL, you know.

John Leary: Sure, get under my desk, you whore.

Kevin Mash (breaks out of character and the camera goes to a close up of him): Look, I could make fun of the jobbers all day long, but let's take a look at some footage.

Mash narrates over the following:

1/26/99. John Leary sends out Dr. McMann during a Lowlife vs. Alley match when Lowlife doesn't lose when he's supposed to. Orion is chokeslammed by Edan LePage. Two days later Crusher signed a new contract. At this time, Crusher has a big title defense coming up against, Chris Slaughter. (laughs). Sorry, but I've beaten that guy without a problem.

2/2/99. Magnus Murray Head is beaten bloody by the Death Stalkers. We see Crusher pin Chris Slaughter and smile smugly.

2/5/99. Puncture and Magnus Murray Head (who dominated every tag team when they were allowed to during the fall) are forced to lose to the Death Stalkers cleanly. Lowlife is taken out by Kobra's Lair, at the request of John Leary. The angle never goes anywhere.

2/9/99. Python is made to tap out in a four way dance. In his second match of the night, Hack Viciously is powerbombed to the floor by Adrian Lucas after humiliating champion Adrian Lucas.

2/12/99. Lowlife is told to hit Orion's knee. Lowlife says John Leary promised him a contract for the injury. Instead, Lowlife is beaten by Kobra's Lair.

2/16/99. Lowlife is again attacked by the Lair. Shelves are dumped on him, breaking his wrist. It became public knowledge at this time that Raider, who had just re-signed for more than $500,000, had lost matches against soon to be champ Adrian Lucas as a lesson. After signing, he suddenly was undefeated again.

2/23/99. Kevin Block is forced into retirement after this attack by Crowbar. Security runs out WAY TOO LATE. (Clip of Roadblock saying he believes he was put out of XWL for simple monetary reasons. ''John Leary didn't want to carry the contract so he had me carried out on a stretcher.'')

John Leary then publicly says that in the next five years, the profits in XWL will be huge. So huge the salaries will be under budget. He locks up all his top guys for at least the next three years. Alley, Heat Seeker, Raider, Nihilist, Adrian Lucas, Crusher, Zohar, Bram Corbett and several others get raises. For the same work as us. They didn't even need the extensions. They were mostly all still under contract until July of next year or 2001!

2/26/99. Bram Corbett attacks me during a shoot interview.

3/9/99. Victor Slaughter walks over NBC, who was told to lose badly to ''set up an angle'' which never materialized. John Leary sets me up to wrestle Hack Viciously to splinter the Union. But Hydro lays down and screws John Leary.

3/12/99. A referee stares as Orion is beaten with chairs by Chris Slaughter and Bram Corbett.

3/16/99. Orion is beaten by the Death Stalkers.

3/19/99. Union arrested.

3/23/99. Magnus Murray Head and Puncture are again forced to lose and do so in three minutes to an undertalented and overpaid team.

3/26/99. Python is forced to lose or be fired and sued for breach of contract.

Mash: Look, you must get the point by now. These are just some of the things I've picked up on or been told. We've gotten our shots in and screwed up JFL's plans, but we can't do it much longer. All we want is to not bleed, break bones and exhaust ourselves in the name of entertainment. We're battered, we're bruised and we're pissed. And we're not going without a fight. He can't do this forever. Don't (expletive) with us no more. Be a human. We're the power now. We don't know where we're going from here, but know this, it gets worse.

Mash: The manipulation begins soon. Or maybe it already has. Death Stalkers, Kobra jobbers, Vipers and the rest of you main eventers and star wannabes. He'll rape you eventually if we don't do something now. In five or six months, we may be history. A black mark, forgotten as Serpent wrestles Edan LePage or Zohar or Alley fights Crusher for the twentieth time. But you know when you'll remember us, especially you guys in the second and third and fourth tier of XWL? When it's time to renegotiate. When he's raped you of fair value due to stupid plot line angles and poor booking. Here's my grade for you boss (middle finger). In Union we stand. Divided, our enemies all fall.

We're live with hosts Mark Weight and Michael Hawk.

Union vs. management

John Leary walks out to the ring to a loud chorus of boos. Leary calls that film total propaganda which ignores some big wins those same people had. He eventually calls out Python and lectures to Python that he was suspended and can't interfere in matches. Python gets the mic and asks the crowd to start a cocksucker chant.

''You know boss, you paid off fucking referees to say I tapped out, you told me to lay down for jobbers I could beat if I was allowed to, I should be the fucking champion. I've beaten Adrian Lucas so many times I've lost count.'' Union walks down.

"You've gotten stupid. Guys like me and Hack Viciously dive into the third row, bleed and commit moves a guy with suicidal tendencies would set straight. You'll fall apart without us."

Leary takes the mic. "Since you boys think you're so great, I've got some great main event caliber matches for you." He announces them. Kevin Mash is then singled out. "Since you seem to trash some of the old-timers, and since I don't want you to proclaim yourself the number one contender, you're facing Raider later tonight. If you win, you get his title shot. If not, you defend that title Raider doesn't want, tonight." Leary leaves before announcing the opponent.

The Union are in aisle seats.

Monkeywrench vs. Lowlife (w/Kevin Mash)

After a long conference, Mash gets out. Lowlife and Monkeywrench hook up and Monkeywrench rakes Lowlife's eyes. They brawl into the fans. Monkeywrench is thrown down steps and Lowlife nails a flying clothesline. Back in the ring, Lowlife tosses in a chair, but Mash tells him not to use it. Lowlife eats a chair dropkick from Monkeywrench. Lowlife kicks out.

Monkeywrench beats Lowlife twice with the chair. Mash gets on the apron and pleads with him to not do it again. Monkeywrench gives Mash the finger and bashes Lowlife's skull once more. Lowlife goes low and nails the lights out. He looks at Mash, then pulls Monkeywrench on top of himself for the pin. Monkeywrench wins.

Lowlife sits in the corner until Monkeywrench is back on his feet. Lowlife steps to him and extends a hand. He looks at Mash, Lowlife, then the fans. They shake and embrace. Monkeywrench puts on a Union shirt.

Chris Slaughter + Edan LePage + Bram Corbett + Zohar vs. Orion + Hack Viciously + Dead End + Magnus Murray Head

Huge brawl with too much action to keep track of. People dive out of the ring into the fans, wrestlers are bloody, and LePage and Orion tumble from the second tier to the first and don't get up. Hack and Zohar have a great wrestling match, but soon the ring is filled up with broken tables and bent chairs. In THE move, Dead End powerbombs Zohar from the top of a ladder in the ring for the pin.

Raider vs. Kevin Mash

Mash keeps it slow after each suplex and power move by Raider. Mash reverses a top rope suplex and drops Raider to the floor. But Mash can't pin Raider after a long string of high-flying and power moves. Raider comes back and suplexes Mash like a rag doll. He nails a German suplex from the second rope for the pin.

Adrian Lucas runs down and from the top rope smashes a window over Raider's head. Raider is lacerated badly. Lucas brings in a trash can, puts Raider inside, and then throws the can to the floor and splashes it.

Death Stalkers run down and attack Lucas. Crusher runs down and the Death Stalkers back up. Lucas is gorilla splatted on the floor. Death Stalkers go into the ring as security and others help Raider and Lucas to the back. Crusher walks away. Electro is with the Death Stalkers. In the ring, Death Stalkers pick up Mash and with a shard of glass to Mash's throat, Malik tells Mash they will wrestle as John Leary demanded, or else.

Back, announcers say the UNION came out and removed the Death Stalkers from ringside.

Kevin Mash vs. Malik
--National Title--

Mash and Malik are in the fans fighting. Malik is thrown into an iron railing four times, which is bent fromt the impact. Back in the ring, Malik attacks Mash's neck with some success. Malik picks up the wood frame from the broken window and smashes Mash's head over and over. Broken glass litters the mat, the camera now shows.

Malik picks up Mash by the throat and drops him back first on the glass. Mash kicks out of a cover. Malik picks Mash up again, but Mash kicks Malik twice and breaks free. His back is cut up. Mash sends Malik into the ropes and backdrops Malik onto the glass. The fight goes outside. The ref sweeps out glass with his foot.

Mash is thrown into the steel post hard. Malik hits Mash's back with a chair. Malik shoulder breaks Mash using the guardrail. Inside, both men bloody, Malik hits the hangman's neckbreaker. The ref, looking directly at Mash's shoulders, makes the three count. Mash's foot is on the bottom rope. Malik is the new champion.

Union runs down, but Malik bails out. Python is wired down from the ceiling and DDTs the ref!

Copyright ©2001 WWL Entertainment Inc. All rights reserved.