April 9, 1999

We're live with hosts Michael Hawk and Dr. McMann. Say Mark Weight had a family emergency and could not be here. Recap of Adrian Lucas's attack on Raider, and their feud of late.

Death of a hero

Adrian Lucas walks to the ring smiling. Says what you have just seen is the death of the hero of all, the smelly teenagers, ugly college kids, and over the hill assholes who like to see men beat the hell out of each other. Says he is not going to lose his title to a short, fat, old man who needs to be fed dog food and crap in a diaper.

Raider walks out with a mic. Raider says he didn't come to fight '''Cause if I did, you'd be smelling your own shit. I'm here to tell you this, you may have beaten me up in one of the most clever ways in the history of wrestling, but the splinters and bruises will be nothing. 'Cause when I'm done, it'll either be 911 or the morgue for you.''

The Union, plus one empty seat, are in the fourth row. Kevin Mash holds up a sign: UNION WORLD ORDER.

Daniel Ryder vs. Seizure

Seizure is dominant in the ring. Ryder tries to slow it down by going outside, but Seizure dives at him. (Mash sign: Suicidal, Geno...no, The Whole... no, My Name is Rey and I'm 4-foot-2). Ryder takes over for a bit. (M sign: Daniel Ryder: Overpaid and Underskilled, Ready for WCW). Chops and punches rule over Seizure. Seizure recovers and nails a moonsault, then a jumping legdrop. He uses the ropes to launch himself for a 180 degree elbow drop. Death valley driver. Seizure gets the pin. (Mash sign: We'd Kick Your Ass If We Weren't In the Cheap Seats)

Alley vs. Electro

Alley walks out with a steel garbage barrel. In the ring he gets the mic and tells Electro this match has become a no DQ street fight using all the weapons in the can. He turns the barrel upside down, and as Electro looks at the mat and nothing comes out, Alley bashes the barrel over Electro's skull. He bashes Electro's face with the lid. Electro is already bloody. He then bashes the barrel all over Electro's body, denting it to a mess.

Alley goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder. He opens it wide and balances it between opposite corners of the ring. Electro finds a reserve and kicks Alley to the mat. Alley goes low and puts Electro on the corner and superplexes Electro onto the middle of the ladder. He stays there. Alley positions Electro and then heads up to the top rope. A frogsplash misses as Electro moves. The ladder bends but doesn't break.

Electro goes for the pin, but at two Death Stalkers swarm and break the count. They brutally beat both men. Alley is placed on Electro's limp body and Alley gets the pin.

U-N-I-T-Why?

Serpent walks to the ring with Heat Seeker. Fans cheering, Serpent smiles and says ''I know you guys missed hearing me speak the truth, so I'm back. As I stand here, I wonder why you fans couldn't cheer for me until I broke free of that dead weight in the Lair. I knew you guys all respected me. And you know what, the guys I respect in this audience have been cheering for me as I put down guys like the Vipers and bled and bruised my old body night after night. But we're not out here to discuss me.''

Serpent says Heat has earned his respect. Says if Heat ever needs him, he'll be there for him, and if Serpent ever needs Heat, he hopes he'll return the favor. Serpent says people have been asking for them to unite, and they will for May Day. They challenge the Kobra's Lair to a snake pit match. The snakes, he says caressing the ropes, will be called barbed wire. The turnbuckles will be pincushions. ''I'm ready to bleed. Are you?''

Puncture + Magnus Murray Head vs. Alpha + Omega

(M sign: Haven't we already seen this match on TV?). Alpha and Omega work over Puncture brutally. His nose is busted. Puncture's left eye swells shut as the match continues. Head cleans house though and gorilla press slams Alpha into the second row. (M sign: That Boy Needs A Raise).

Puncture is out in the corner and collapses. Head stops and goes to the corner. Alpha and Omega attack him brutally. Head is Alphaed. Hack Viciously goes to the ring and checks on Puncture. He runs into the ring and starts a fight with Alpha and Omega. The rest of the Union runs in and knock Alpha and Omega out, who retreat with a DQ victory.

Announcers say Puncture was taken out on a stretcher during the break and will be heading to a hospital.

Fuck U

John Leary walks to the ring and calls out Kevin Mash. He comes out carrying an I'm The National Champion sign.

Leary: ''You've made a mockery out of this new title.''

Mash: ''Maybe if you'd pay us equal money to fucking rookies, you'd get us to go along with your angles.''

Leary: ''That attitude will be worthless when you have no job. And I'll make sure you walk out of this company with at least two bad wheels.''

Mash: ''If you don't like it, I got one word and one letter for you. Fuck u.''

Leary: ''Well, I see where this is heading. Since I'm you boss and tell you what to do, you are defending the XWL National Title against The Prowler right now.''

Mash: ''Fine, another overpaid, washed up dick licker to steal a title and teach a political lesson. Sign here for shit or get injured badly.''

The Prowler sneaks out.

Mash: ''Soon I will expose you for the moron everyone knows you are.''

Kevin Mash vs. The Prowler
-- National Title--

Prowler sneak attacks Mash. Prowler works Mash over around the ring as Leary cheers Prowler on. Mash is smashed into the guardrail. Prowlers pulls apart the rail and tosses a section into the ring. Mash is spinebusted on the rail, but kicks out of a cover. Prowler goes for an inverted suplex, but Mash kicks low and DDTs Prowler onto the rail.

Mash yells to Leary it's jobber clutch time. Victor Slaughter runs out of the fans with a metal tray and in the ring hits Mash in the back of the head. He drops the hold and stares at Slaughter. They brawl. Lowlife and Orion run down. Prowler is handcuffed to the rope. Lowlife bashes Prowler with the rail while Mash and Slaughter fight into the fans. Lowlife gets a chair and bashes Prowler's head. No contest.

Copyright ©2001 WWL Entertainment Inc. All rights reserved.