The Meaning of Entertainment, Part 1

Tuesday Night Extreme
March 11, 2003

Television.

Where would we be without it? Easy. We'd be bored out of our fucking minds, that's where we would be. Television is everything, with Television, or TV, we have the chance to view a wide variety of entertaining shows that host entertaining celebrities. Thanks to television, we get to see live performances by the Hollywood Whore Christina Aguilera, as she shakes that ghetto white ass of hers. Thanks to television, we get to see Jeri Ryan show some cleavage on Boston Public, thanks to Television we get to watch the antics of South Park and the Simpsons, and thanks to television pornography has become a household word...we even begin to make our own. Let's face it, without television, our lives would be bland.

But one thing that all television networks have, whether it be the 'good for all ages' programming of TNT, or the channel for hicks known as TNN. And what is that one thing you ask? Oh, the answer is very simple, because its 75% of what we watch on television each and everyday. You know, the things you supposedly hate, but deep down love inside? That's right folks, it's commercials. Where would Television be without some great advertisements to get YOU to buy things you don't really need?

Well, this time it would be different, and the world would have none other than Sean Studd and Trey Vincent to thank for it.

And with that, the X-Tron opened up to none other than the faces of Sean Studd and Trey Vincent. Both men had a very cheesy smile plastered upon their gorgeous faces, as they looked into the camera and flashed their pearly whites at the X-Wrestling crowd. The crowd itself jeered wildly for the duo, as they continued to smile and tilt their head. Sean Studd was the first to speak on behalf of the Taem, who seemed to be unable to wipe the smiles off their faces.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, I am television's famous superstar Sean Studd," Studd said with a smile as he pointed to himself, "And next to me is my good friend, and tag team partner, fellow entertainer, Trey Vincent," Studd stated as Trey Vincent grinned and gave two thumbs up, "And we are tonight to discuss a very important matter in your life. Ladies and Gentlemen, have you ever had a great meal, one of the best in your entire life? If so, you know what happens, don't you? That's right folks, that grummble in your tummies, it's time to go to the bathroom...but guess what? The toilet paper suddenly feels rough and uncomfortable to the anal skin...and ouch, does that hurt"

"Trey Vincent was the victim of this," Trey said with sulk, "The Francise Player had one of the best meals in my life at the oh-so-famous failure called 'The World', and suddenly TV had to go to the bathroom. TV goes to the crapper, but that TP just felt like sand paper, and made my anal area redder than Jamal Wilson's ass in a gay man's orgy!", Trey said with a squeel in his voice, as he rubbed his forehead in dismay. Studd placed a hand upon Trey Vincent's shoulder and simpathized for his tag team parnter. Studd quickly turned his attention back to the camera...

"Trey Vincent, as well as all of you, are sick and tired of feeling nothing but roughness on your household Toilet Paper," Studd said with a bit of disgust. Suddenly a smile broke free, "But look no further folks, our friends at X Wrestling, along with the epitomes of entertainment, Team EGO... ::THE MOST ENTERTAINING TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF THIS BUSINESS::...have come up with a solution to this very annoying and very persistant household problem. Are you looking for a Toilet Paper that'll stop that rash from ever coming back...and in fact wipe that ass clean with the softness of a pillow? Well look no further, X Wrestling and Team EGO would like to bring to you..."

Suddenly Sean Studd reached to a nearby table and pulled out a certain item...the camera zoomed in...

"X Wrestling brand Toilet Paper!"

The fans jeered wildly, as Studd smiled with a large grin.

"With the extreme crappiness of this federation, now you can actually use the experience of being crappy to your advantage," Trey said with a smile, "Just take a look at these testimonials of these very famous people..."

Suddenly the scene switched to a photo of a very famous face in X Wrestling history. The face was of none other than former World Champion, Xtreme. But something was different, on the photo, the mouth was moving as if being controlled like a puppet.

'Xtreme' - Hello folks, I'm Xtreme, former World Champion of this indy promotional...you also might remember me as being a cross dressing freak and calling myself Kiara because I just had to get my fix on X Wrestling...but now, thanks to Xw brand Toilet Paper, I get my fix of Xw *and* I get to have a clean vagina.. the one that replaced my 1 inch dick, which was surgically removed all for the purposes of my own entertainment. It's so clean because of Xw Toilet paper, that I am always ready for Teri to take out the strap on!

The fans couldn't help but laugh, as the voice was obviously Trey Vincent mocking the former Champion. Suddenly another picture comes up, it's the picture of none other former member of The Few...Synn, Studd making the voice all dark.

'Synn' - Hi, you might remember me as the lazy mother fucker that did absolutely nothing for X Wrestling, and in fact let the federation carry my character...that's right I'm Synn, and I want you to be the first to know, as a legend of this promotion, that this Toilet Paper is softer than ANY other brand!

The camera than cues back up to Team EGO who are smiling ear to ear.

"Not enough proof for you folks?" Studd said with a cocky and arrogant grin plastered upon his face, "Well, my friend Trey here experimented with the product itself, and compared it to other brandname Toilet Papers...lets take a look..."

Suddenly a clip of TV in a bathroom stall, taking a Blazer (aka, a crap) is shown...nothing sick, don't worry, this isn't Asylum you sick fucks. Numerous clips are shown with TV wiping his ass, censored of course, with numerous name brands like Exeter and Scott...but the last one is what brings a sigh of relief to TV as he cleans his anal passage with the brandname X-Wrestling Crapper Paper. The fans are jeering wildly as TV walks out of the stall, the soiled paper in the Toilet...and than a final flush...

"So how do you feel Trey?"

Trey can only smile at Studd and look over at the camera, "Trey Vincent feels great Sean, and not only does he feel great about the softness of the paper...but Trey Vincent also feels great about one other thing...," he paused and looks over at Studd, who suddenly gives a devious smile at the camera along with Trey Vincent. Both men look sadistic almost, as Trey starts, "That Team EGO get to wipe our asses with X Wrestling!"

The two laugh loudly, as the fans give a ROAAAARRRRR of boos for the dynamic duo of Trey Vincent and Sean Studd. The two high five amongst their laughter, but quickly return to their cheesy straight stance and their cheesy commercial smile, as Sean Studd ends the commercial.

"So remember folks...when you need to wipe that ass...use a brand that deserves wiping your ass"

Cue the actual commercials, none of them would be as entertaining.

*Wink*

NEXT CHAPTER: The Meaning of Entertainment, Part 2 >>