Paying Respects

Menace 9
Jan 12, 2004
Starring: Team EGO and KaGe
Writer: Leary, Chill, and Paul

Monday Night Menace slowly faded in at the scene of the Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, North Carolina. The lights were dimmed as a lone spotlight shined upon the center of the ring. In the squared circle was three tombstones set beside one another, each with their own respective names. The scene was very morbid, and slowly a dark toned music cued up from the audio system. It was of ‘Graveyard Symphony’. No sooner did the music play than did a dark blue light shine from the bottom of the stage to see three druids dressed from head to toe in ceremonial black gowns with hoods over their anonymous faces. As ‘graveyard symphony’ continued to play, the three druids with Christian candles held in their prayer-like grasp slowly made their way to the ring.

It was almost as if it was a funeral of sorts, and the crowd seemed very confused at the situation. The three anonymous druids stepped slowly up the steel steps and very precisely entered the ring, where each hooded figure would stand behind a tombstone. As they did, and placed their candles down upon the tops of each tombstone, they went into prayer (apparently one of them, in the center, had a microphone and held it to his mouth).

”Our father, who wart in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, as earth as it is in heaven,” said the monotone like voice, “give us the saviors of this day, and forgive us our bad timing, for we love those who killed these men, and saved us from unentertaining malarkey, for they delivered us from boredom…AMEN”

The jeers began to form, as the cameras zoomed into the names upon the graves.

Spyder.

Neo.

Temerario.

And in an instant all the lights returned to the Greensboro Coliseum and the three hooded druids simultaneously removed their hoods to reveal themselves to be the saviors of the entertainment world of wrestling. These three men, who began their debut mocking the deaths of three beloved superstars, smiled widely as the jeers collected heavily.

On the right: Greg Davis. (Enter the Jeers)

On the left: Sean Studd (Enter a HUGE amount of jeers for the heel turn last week)

And in the dead center, the mouth of the funeral: Trey Vincent sporting his newly won WWC World Championship.

All three Team EGO members smiled widely as they removed their gowns and greeted the crowd in attendance. Each member pulling a microphone from their back pockets and each of them wearing a black T-Shirt that symbolized the man they were to represent on this holy day of rejoice. Greg Davis was the first to take his microphone as he looked down at the tombstone of ‘Neo’. Davis, with a black t-shirt that had a picture of Neo’s head with a “THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, FREE AT LAST” under it.

”Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night EGO. We are you’re hosts for this opening segment and to start the night off, we would like to pay our respects to the dearly departed. You see, after our Road to Gold adventure,” the mere mention of the event from Davis’ lips sent a roar of jeers from the crowd in North Carolina, “It was IMPOSSIBLE for us to enjoy our grand moment of reunion, because we were left forlorn over the mass murder of the fWo superstars last week”

Davis hung his head for a moment in silence before returning to the microphone.

”You see, I was apart of that federation about two years ago…and to see the men that I worked with drop dead…shocks me. I mean: how dare these people die the WEEK that we return! Talk about stealing our heat!” Davis said, appalled, as the crowd responded in jeers and comments of ‘this is going too far’, “I mean, out of all the people to die in that massacre, NEO dies? Before the murder, I didn’t even remember who the hell Neo was!”

More jeers, these were truly HATE-filled jeers.

”Oh c’mon, don’t give me that shit,” Davis responded, “You know DAMN well that Neo was a NOBODY. I guess Neo will be like every famous painter, only famous after death, huh? But god damn, couldn’t this massacre thing happen like…THREE weeks ago or something? How dare they decide to die on the week WE debut! How the hell do we follow that up?”

Davis looked to his cohorts, but they only shrugged in mystery.

”Well I won’t stand for it! I dare Neo to come back from the dead!”

…what?

”You heard me! Neo, we’ve seen about four different wrestlers come back from the dead: and I know for a damn fact that you can too! I mean, dying and resurrecting is the trend of fWo…so I KNOW you can do it, god damn it!” Davis shouted harshly at the tombstone, but Sean Studd would soon but in and whisper into his microphone…

”Um, Greg? You have to wait like two months before they come back to life; that’s how it goes,” whispered Studd.

Davis stared blankly, “Oh…well…Neo, you beat your ass I’ll be here in two months. And when you come back to life, I swear to the god almighty that I will make sure you never return to plague our television sets with your heavy hick accent, and your incest-ridden sexual endeavors!”

And with that, Davis kicked the tombstone down and sat his ass upon it. The crowd now began to throw small articles of trash into the ring, as Davis just smiled and laid down upon the knocked over tombstone, as Studd only shook his head in disgust and nudged Davis in the ribs with the end of his boot. Davis looked up angrily, as Studd only shook his head and looked at the tombstone HE was representing…Spyder.

”Greg, I know you’ve been gone from the wrestling world for a good two years. And no, I don’t consider you’re run in IOW apart of the wrestling world…that’s apart of the Goldberg world, all hype and no product,” Davis shrugged and agreed with Studd, “But bro, you are taking this too far…seriously. I mean, we are standing in a month of despair, an era of depression. On that fateful night, we lost a couple of great superstars in the wrestling business today!”

The crowd, somewhat, began to cheer the newly heel Studd.

Studd than turned his face of concern into a devilish grin as he peered to the crowd and spoke, “And holy fuggin’ SHIT you people are GULLIBLE!”

Here came the jeers.

”Oh, don’t give me that. You know perfectly well that when those bodies hit the floor, that the entire wrestling industry jumped off their asses and rejoiced. I mean, after I basically flipped the world off and joined my boys to reform this grand establishment called Team EGO, I thought my life was perfect. But than I saw the death of this greasy wall crawler,” Studd said as he positioned himself in front of the Spyder tombstone and smiled, “You see, I had a few choice battles with this masked man and many of them…I won. But did anyone notice that? Of course not, because the taco eating, lawnmowing illegal immigrant couldn’t do no wrong. Well folks, I guess after this ordeal, we learned something…”

”That Spyder and Eddie Guerrero are indeed NOT the same person!”

The crowd jeered and began to chant an old ECW chant of, “FUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!” over and over again, a chant not usually heard in the wrestling world anymore. Studd cocked an eyebrow up the crowd, as Davis only laid back upon his tombstone and rested, and Trey Vincent only responded with a shake of his head.

“Hey, hey! Respect for the dearly departed people! Jesus, I would expect that kind of language from New York, but North Carolina? Just goes to show you…idiocy truly is contagious,” Studd said for a moment as he returned back to ‘Spyder’, “So my Mexican mate, I bid you adieu…and after I sit here and watch as I am the last man standing between us. As I stand here and the realization of your death smacks me across the face…I can only think of one thing…”

”I guess Santa DOES exist, because my gift was given!”

With that, the main man in WWC — the World Champion Trey Vincent — stepped forward to check out his tombstone, the tombstone of Temerario. A puzzled look came over his face. The Sports Entertainment Icon looked around at the crowd for a moment before flashing a smile.

'Oh, come on now. We’re here to put the ‘fun’ back in funerals. And how much more fun does it get than celebrating a death of some scrub getting attention that should be mine. Now, as I look down at this tombstone, I can’t help but feel I should have taken that Spanish class back in 12th grade.'

'Shut the fuck up,' clap-clap-clap-clap-clap, came the response of the crowd. Vincent paused and looked around at the packed crowd, as did Studd and Davis, surprised by the hate that Team EGO was receiving in town tonight. 'Gat damn, did Ric Flair die tonight or something? Did that old fecker finally have a real heart attack? Why so hostile, people?' Vincent said with a grin, and the attitude in his voice just made the fans boo more loudly. The WWC fans still had the memory of the infamous lay down from Road To Gold fresh in their minds.

'Guys, I’m a bit lost, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Who in the fuck is this guy?' Vincent asked his EGO-mates.

'Some Mexican in a mask,' Studd responded.

'Well that helps me a lot!' Vincent said, laughing. 'So A Mexican in a mask dies? Who fucking cares? There’s about 400 of those greasy bastards running around here!'

Oh yes, more boos. And some more paper cups and drinks were hurled in their direction.

'Nah, instead, let’s honor a true, fallen, dead hero.' Vincent knocked over his tombstone and put his microphone down on it for a moment as he stepped forward and pulled off his Temerario shirt to reveal...a Flying Frenchie T-shirt.

'Although, why would we mourn yet another spineless French—'

'Umm, Trey? I hate to interrupt,' Davis said.

'Then why are you?' Vincent asked, raising his fist and shaking it in Davis’ general direction.

'It’s just...Frenchie isn’t dead.'

'He’s not?' Vincent asked in complete shock.

'Nope. He only got shot in the leg.'

'Huh. Well his career must still be on life support. That happens with people who tag team with scrubs like Keith Scott Zimmerman and everyone stops giving a shit about you. Ah well, C’est la vie. I guess all these deaths are rather symbolic of the fWo these days anyhow. For fuck’s sake, Walt Disney would be rolling over in his grave if he knew that Brand Frontier is their champion now. Just as the roster members are dropping like flies, so are the ratings points for the fWo shows.

'Now, in case you people missed Road To Gold last week, make sure you buy it when it comes out on DVD. Because all my viewers will want to have the moment where Trey Vincent showed the world what being a TRUE sports entertainment champion is all about preserved for all time. Sean Studd and I put on the greatest show on earth. We played all you marks for the fools you are. And I got the belt that everyone backstage wants but doesn’t have enough talent to carry.

'You want Brand X over on the other channel? Go fucking watch it. Seriously. But you’ll be back. Because watching that shit is like watching black and white boring television. The color is gone. But here, you can watch Team EGO in living color. It’d be like drinking whiskey you made in your dirty bathtub instead of drinking Jim Beam. Get it? It’s just fucking stupid. Sure, you’ll get buzzed either way, but with Team EGO, you won’t have that morning after regret, knowing you missed our latest shenanigans. And you people love our shenanigans.'

Boos. Maybe a few cheers thrown in, but for the most part, Team EGO was hated right now.

'Now, I’ve heard all the shit about us tarnishing this WWC World Title. But the only time this title has been tarnished lately is when Davis had a bit too much to drink at the bar last week and puked on it.'

Vincent and Studd looked at Davis with a bit of disappointment.

'But as your WWC Champion, I promise to bring you naughty language. Five-star matches. Twenty minute promos like this one here tonight, simply because you looooooove to hear us talk. And I promise you a very, very, very long reign. So deal with it. I will be the greatest WWC Champion. Nobody will be able to stop me. Because I’ve got Team EGO by my side. And—'

'Wait a second!'

The fans, who were all still standing, turned their attention see who had the balls to interrupt Team EGO in their self-glorification. This interruption came from none other than WWC's Television Champion, KaGe. He was on his way down the aisle, heading right for Team EGO, who was in full celebratory mode.

But just like being drunk, sobriety eventually has to come knocking.

'What makes you such a great champion?,' KaGe asked Vincent. 'Your opponent laid down for you? You put a bad name to all the champions in this fed.'

KaGe continued his way down the aisle as the World Champion laughed off the insult, looking at KaGe.

'I made a bad name of this fed?' Vincent laughed, looking at his EGO brothers. 'I have been making this federation from day one. Main events. Notoriety. Merchandise. Ratings. I am WWC. Sean Studd is the toughest competition I've had in years. And let me tell you, if you get any closer, you just might see how tough Sean Studd is.'

Vincent paused and paced back and forth for a few seconds before something dawned on him. 'Huh? You walk into the highest rated segment of the show and expect us to show you any sort of respect. Who in the hell are you anyway?'

Vincent acted as if he really didn't know the WWC Television Champion. Needless to say, KaGe wasn't too pleased and put the mic to his lips to respond to the Sports Entertainment Icon.

'Lets not play games Trey. You and team EGGO tried to pull this stunt back in XW, and it was stopped dead in its tracks. I’m here to make sure that Team EGGO doesn't try do to WWC what it tried to do to Xw.'

KaGe takes a couple of steps closer to the ring and then climbed up onto the apron, not showing a hint of fear.

'And if I wanted Sean Studd believe me is ass would have already been kicked. I’m not out here to talk or go through any of your goons. Right now, whether I like to admit it or not, you’re the top dog in WWC. And it’s only because of that,' KaGe said pointing to the coveted WWC World Title, in which Trey Vincent holds with great pride.

KaGe continued. 'And the only way to make sure this Team EGGO thing doesn't take off, is to take that title from you.'

'What do you think if you come out here and make fun of Team EGO,' Vincent said, stressing the word EGO, since KaGe had been saying it wrong, 'that you will magically earn a title shot? The only thing you've proven is that you can't spell your own damn name and think you're cool because you do random capitalization! You may have that stupid little belt that says you're a television champion, but let me tell you something, KaGe. I am everybody's television champion. And I am YOUR WWC World Champion. You bow to me now, bitch!'

The crowd responded in jeers and boos for Vincent, who was obviously growing a bit upset at KaGe.

'Just because you don't think I'm a champion, what does that even mean? And you want to talk about Xw...with US? Man, nobody has even paid attention to that place since EGO left. Are they even still open? You see, kid, controversy equals ratings. And right here, you're looking at the reason you even have a chance of being on television!'

'I don't think I deserve a shot because I’m talking shit. I deserve a shot because YOU don't deserve the title. You won from a lay down.'

'LAY DOWN.... LAY DOWN.... LAY DOWN,' the crowd chanted along with KaGe.

'You are afraid of facing a real opponent for that title and you know it. Just think of the ratings TV. The World Champion vs The Television Champion... Too bad you’re too much of a pussy to accept the challenge.'

And with those words KaGe was standing directly in Trey Vincent’s face. The two men were nose to nose as Vincent pulled the mic to his mouth.

'Just what are you implying fucktard?' Vincent asked. 'That I can't beat you? You need to ask yourself just one question. Are you ready to receive the sports entertainment beating of a lifetime? Because if you are...' Vincent dropped his WWC title to the mat. 'I'll show everybody in this arena and everybody who can afford to pay for HBO that Tony Soprano ain't the biggest fucking badass on the channel. You're looking at him. And you're on. Tonight!' Vincent snarled into KaGe's face, not stepping a bit back.

The fans roared in approval as Studd and Davis grabbed Vincent and pulled him away from KaGe. Vincent told Davis to grab his title belt, and Davis obliged handing it to Vincent as the three members of Team EGO headed out to the floor. But KaGe had one last message for Trey Vincent.

'Heh,' KaGe laughed. 'You compare yourself to the Soprano's? More like Sex in the City.'

The crowd popped and laughed along with KaGe at a now irate Trey Vincent.

'Enough with the jokes, Trey. Tonight I will prove to everyone that you can't stand toe to toe with 'Tha Red Eyed Warrior'. So go to the back and suit up. Take these other two guys with you, hell bring them to the ring if you want to... until later Trey... END TRANSMISSION!'

KaGe dropped the microphone as 'Enter the Sandman' blares over the PA. Vincent, Studd and Davis stared back toward the ring as they retreated with neither side looking ready to back down from this fight.

NEXT CHAPTER: Trey Vincent vs. KaGe (World Title Match) >>

©2004 John Leary