The Best of PIW 2002...?
PIW Countdown To Insanity
Dec. 21, 2002
 Deep Promotional Voice - "Pinnacle of Insane Wrestling...a federation like none other..."
A slowly fading Best of PIW Logo is shown...
Deep Promotional Voice - "A federation that has seen blood, sweat and tears, for every year of its existance. PIW has seen legends, and failures...it has seen the greatest wrestlers of all time, step into the ring and face off for true supremacy. But in the year of 2002...that has all changed...for it has only gotten better..."
Suddenly a spray paint "EGO" comes across the PIW logo...
Deep Promotional Voice - "This year has seen the best of PIW, in a long time. Who could forget the times of arrival..."
Suddenly a clip is shown, a clip of none other than Erik Rave and Chris Titan...burning the TW World Title and jOlt World Title in the center of the ring on Massacre #1. This is slowly cut into a "renactment", as the fans watch on as Team EGO take over the scene. Sean Studd, dressed as a dark haired unentertaining jackass pyromaniac Erik Rave...and Trey Vincent dressed with an assorted amount of hair folicles that he stole from "Wigs R Us", exactly like Chris Titan. The duo than look at one another go insane as they begin throwing numerous things into the fire...
Sticks.
Poles.
The Ring Ropes.
The House Cat.
Eric Wreck...wait...Eric Wreck?
Grandma Sofie.
And of course...gasoline.
"Erik Rave" and "Chris Titan" begin to laugh histerically, as the two pyromaniacs watch the fire grow and grow...the two men than look at each other and nod with emphasis, as both take a step back and jump into the flames themselves...
Deep Promotional Voice - "Unfortunately, some are no longer with us. Who could forget the great superstars of the PIW..."
Suddenly, a clip shows none other than...THE JOKER! He is seen standing in front of a mirror, painting his face, while looking over at a picture of Sting to his left, and a picture of Heckler to his right. He is measuring out, making sure he doesn't miss a drop of face paint, he wants to be just like them...he suddenly realizes a camera is watching him, and he quickly pushes the camera away...and resumes his makeup ritual.
A clip than fades to Amrehyr...ehh you know...Rahl. He is sitting at home, having some "Campbell" soup...when suddenly, he looks at the soup and his mouth drops. He quickly runs off camera, as the camera zooms in on the soup can..."Alphabet Soup". The fans watching laugh out loud wildly, as "Rahl" returns with a pen and paper and begins copying down the soup...he than looks at the camera...gives a *wink* and a thumbs up.
Deep Promotional Voice - "But with the great talent that PIW has seen...there has always been the greatest wars. Wars between men who had so much hatred for one another...that it set a standard for PIW's present and future. These wars are legendary, but one of the biggest of them all was between two men...filled with hatred and misery..."
Suddenly...a clip is shown of a tall spikey hair (most likely put up with sperm), dark leather spandex pants, a see through black shirt...and than...the heart shaped sunglasses...
All of these could only mean one thing...
Deep Promotional Voice - "The Tenderizer" Gay Chavez
The fans could only laugh wildly...
Then...
The spiked up hair, the backwoods retard look upon his face, the spandex tights...and in his grasp...
A book..."Entertainment for Dumbies"
Deep Promotional Voice - And "Simply Unentertaining" Chris Mezz!
The two faces are shown, with Gay Chavez sucking on a candy cane, and Chris Mezz reading the book and saying to himself, "I R COOL". The fans laughed loudly, as the scene of the two figures faded into a logo for "Best of PIW 2002", which was quickly spray painted over by an "EGO" logo, which was followed by a message on the bottom...
"All events here are true, there have actually been such unentertaining events that have taken place in the Pinnacle of Insane Wrestling. All similarities to previous events are not coincedental...but all meant to be similar. Team EGO apologizes on behalf of PIW that such unentertaining things had to happen...but Team EGO promises...that with them around, things will get entertaining...for they are entertaining, they are gorgeous...and dammit, they are outlaws"
NEXT CHAPTER: Mysterious letters and presents >>
©2002 John Leary |
