Fan Appreciation Night

PIW Massacre
Dec. 7, 2002

"We Will Rock You (Remix)" hit. The asses all came off the seats and the silent cheered for the biggest tag team in the game. Charisma? Can't be matched. Sex appeal? No one has any more. Pure sports entertaining talent? Hell, rumor has it they're God's favorite tag team.

Trey Vinent.

Sean Studd.

Team EGO was here.

The pop only increased when their smiling faces emerged from backstage. The duo, wearing EXTRA LARGE Team EGO T-shirts, quickly lost the shirts and the female fans reacted with shrill screams of pleasure at the sight. Vincent and Studd headed to the ring, soaking up the attention from all sides and joined Mike Hunt in the ring.

Apparently, Hunt was going to be conducting an interview with the men. Why? Can we assume Jim Johnson doesn't want Sean Studd near Jenny Jiggles? You can now!

Once in the ring, Trey SNATCHED the mic from Mike Hunt. He and Studd looked around at the Worcester crowd, which began an "EGO, EGO, EGO" chant. The team let the fans have their fun before getting onto business.

Vincent put the mic to his lips, waiting for the fans to grow silent. He then looked around at the crowd and smiled, and more cheers came. Once again, the fans were waiting on every precious word that was coming out of the team's collective mouth.

"Welcome to our show," Trey Vincent said to a huge pop. "Team EGO's, MASSACRE," Vincent bellowed out to another good pop from the crowd. Vincent walked around the ring. Vincent then pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Mike Hunt. "Read this Mr. Interviewer Man."

Hunt looked at the paper and looked up at Vincent. If you're a good lip reader, he said "I ain't reading this!" If you're not a good reader, you don't know what the hell he just said.

"Listen Hunt, my bro Studd here isn't very pleased at not having Jenny Jiggles doing this interview. And I'm hoping this will calm him down. Read it!" Vincent said shaking a fist and grabbing Hunt by the collar.

"Fine!" Hunt said. "*Ahem* Mike Hunt, has, venereal disease."

Team EGO and a lot of the fans had a nice laugh at that line.

"You should refer to yourself in the third person all the time. Mike Hunt has to go get a haircut." More laughter. "Mike Hunt is looking good today!" More laughter. "Is Mike Hunt fat?" Yes, more laughter.

"OK, enough fun. You see? This is why Trey Vincent, Sean Studd and Team EGO is here in PIW. It's all about entertainment. It's all about entertaining the fans of PIW and converting outsiders into becoming PIW fans. But the problem is, there is nobody on this roster besides the two of us who are outrageous enough to make the people tune in week after week to see what we're going to do next."

"So tonight's show is all about the fans. Because PIW wants to be cool. PIW wants to be 'over' with the entire community of sports entertainment fans out there, marks, smarks, workers, shorkers, midgets, hotties, fatties, blondes, brunettes, redheads, players, haters, gangstas, bitches, fags, lesbos, bis, stars, bums, whites, blacks, yellows, browns..."

Studd, apparently a bit ticked off at Vincent's lack of focus, or more likely the non-presence of Jenny, SNATCHED the mic from his partner.

"You see, this right here is an example of what's wrong with PIW. This is why PIW needs Team EGO," Studd said. "Instead of being interviewed by Jenny Jiggles we're being interviewed by Mike Hunt. So we're gonna improve things. Think about it. Who would you fans rather have doing the interview?"

"A survey?" Vincent asked.

"Nah. We don't need no steeking survey, mang. We got all the macheesmo. We've seen what they have to say about us on the Internet. They all talk about how great the efff, dubya, ohhh is."

The crowd booed.

"They all talk about Cut!" Vincent said, changing Action!'s name.

"And how could we not mention the Ass-ylum?" Studd wondered. "But what all these marks don't realize is that Team EGO is the most entertaining force on the planet! Yes, even more powerful than when I hit a woman's pleasure zone with the little Studdster."

Studd paused, as the fans had to laugh and cheer for the young, cocky Studd.

"But we're here to entertain everyone on the planet. So to get over with everyone on the planet, we're going to ask all of you, what do you find entertaining? We're going to get to know ALL the fans and the non-fans. And we're going to do what Team EGO does best. Make you piss your pants in laughter! This show is...for the FANS."

The crowd popped again as "We Will Rock You (Remix)" hit a second time. Studd dropped the mic and he and Vincent posed for the crowd.

NEXT CHAPTER: Shill This Hype Part 1 >>

©2002 John Leary