TUFF ENUFF~! Episode 1

PIW Massacre
Nov. 30, 2002

Suddenly, the InsaneTron came to life. The fans in attendance blew up in excitement, especially when numerous bricks and debris came falling down on the InsaneTron, forming the letters of "PIW", than "Presents"followed by a large variety of idiotic clips such as midgets doing hip tosses, another one taking a body slam, all with the beat of some Super Nintendo Theme Music. Suddenly two bricks fell on one another and formed the two words that had been making the fans laugh hysterically throughout the night (entertaining them for once)

TUFF ENUFF~!

The scene opened up to the empty ring, which was actually the HSBC Arena before the people were allowed inside. Inside the ring is none other the Franchise Player of PIW, The Sports Entertainment Icon, Trey Vincent, and around the ring was none other the midgets of TUFF ENUFF~! One, strangely looked much like WWE 'Superstar' Maven...bleh, even as the narrator, it pains me to call such an idiot a SUPERSTAR...bleh. TV surveyed the "trainees" and crossed his arms.

"Well, as you all know this is a CONTEST...not a friendship deal...so YOU TWO...STOP HUMPING EACH OTHER!"

That's right, it seems the two midgets, one named Midia and the other named Haven, seemed to be getting it on in the corner of the ring, and due to their height, it was hard to catch them. Trey Vincent could only tell because he knew two heads where missing from ringside. Quickly, the two midgets popped their heads up and apologized, as TV just shook his head.

"Listen to me, this isn't just an all night hump fest", he stated, "This is a competition, and plus...you're my kids...and simbling sex is just wrong! WRONG!"

TV quickly fixed his tights and placed his hands on his hips.

"But enough about this competition, remember, it's a FUGGIN' competition!", he stated again...just as TUFF ENUFF~! must always do, "But I figured I'd bring in a true star into class today. He is a former WWE World Champion, and former WWE Tag Team Champion and...whoa...wait a minute", suddenly Trey takes away the notecard with a picture of 'The Undertaker' on it, and tosses it aside. As he does, he notices the other card and smiles, "Oh, sorry, he is just some dude who was in PIW for a short while and actually quit. Folks let me introduce to you...the Deadman...err...fuck...", again he tossed aside another 'Undertaker' notecard, "Err...The Deathman...

SUPREME!"

Suddenly, the lights went out and lights began to flash all around them, as a deep voice slowly said "DEADMAN STOLEN!", BOOM! Suddenly, a very butchered version of "Rollin" by Limp Bizkit blasted on the PA System, as "IT'S STOLEN, STOLEN, STOLEN, STOLEN, YEAH! IT'S STOLEN, STOLEN, STOLEN, STOLEN, C'MON!, IT'S STOLEN, STOLEN, STOLEN, STOLEN. MOVE IN, NOW MOVE OUT, GIMMICK'S TAKEN AND LAID OUT, BACK UP, BACK UP, STEAL IT FOR YOUR OWN GOOD NOW!", and suddenly an engine is heard roaring across the area. Suddenly...

*Put, Put, Put*

"God damn piece of crap!"

*VRROOOOOOMMMMM, put, put, put*

"C'mon you mother BLEEPin' piece of crap!"

*VRROOOOOOMM, put, put, put...ROOOOOOMMMM!*

"Bout god damn tayme!"

Suddenly, it roared down the rampway, as the midgets looked up in shock, all plastered with fake smiles. TV just nodded his head and clapped, as the very familiar face came down...on his MOPED (complete with Harley Davidson bumper sticker)!!! It was none other than the big man of PIW's past, Supreme...err...Studd-preme! It was Sean Studd in a YMCA getup, complete with fake goatee and a bandana. The Moped was slowly making it's way down the ramp, as suddenly it tipped over, hurling Studd-preme into the corner.

"YOU PIECE OF *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* MOTHER *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* , I HATE YOU, YOU *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", he stated with a big stare on his face, as he grunted wildly, "Listen to what I say boy, cause if ya don't...I'll make your ass Fam...er...right WWE Copyright...er....I'll make your ass a Celebrity!", he stated...he finally thought over that line and mummbled to himself, 'Celebrity, what the fuck was I thinking?'

"Welcome Supreme!", stated an over-enthusiastic Trey Vincent, as the TUFF ENUFF~! crew began to clap for the 'legend' (psht, who the hell are we kiddin?). Studd-preme quickly kicked his MOPED~! off the ramp and walked over to the ring and entered. He looked all around at the midgets and just grinned before chewing some tobacco, sniffing the air, and spitting the tobacco at Haven, which in turn, knocked the midget off the apron.

"Well boys", Studd-preme said as he wiped his nose with his black leather glove, "I'm told that I'm here to talk about wrestling. Well, it's real simple guys, the way I got into PIW...was by watching alot of quality television", the midgets all looked at one another perplexed like, "That's right, television! I just sat back with a nice bottle of vodka, scratched my nuts, and turned on RAW and Smackdown every chance I got. God, I remember the first gimmick I had...I was dressed in all black, and wore a black hat. And some fat pasty guy was managing me...good times, good times...", suddenly TV knocked Studd-preme in the back of the head. Studd-preme looked at TV and snarled...but than realized...

"I did it again, didn't I Trey? Mixed my life up with..."

"Well, this time you got half of it right. The part about watching alot of TV and scratching your nuts while drinking beer...but the rest...yeah", said TV as he patted Supreme (Studd-preme) on the shoulder in condolences. But Studd-preme quickly pushed away TV and stood tall against the midgets and began to talk proudly again.

"Well, lemme tell ya something. It ain't easy gettin' inta' pee eye dubya, it takes alot of hard work...in fact, I made a video for all of you...", suddenly the InsaneTron on the video came to life and thus came forth a very butchered version of the Desire Video from WWE, which was scratched out with marker, and showed numerous clips of the Undertaker. Many against Mankind, another against Vader, others against Diesel. Studd-preme watched his 'memories' and a tear came to his eye. TV attempted to tell Studd-preme the truth, but he only waved off TV and resumed to tearing...

Cut.

"NEXT ON TUFF ENUFF~!"

A scene of the next episode is shown, as TV and Studd stand in the center of the ring.

"Boys and girls", stated TV, "I'd like to welcome you to Aghfkadghkafkjfakjfhak'shfjkaghjkfakjoversmith Rahl!"

And cut to a scene with a masked figure, with long hair, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. He held up a can of campbells alphabet soup and smiled as he pointed to it. He than pointed to himself and stated to the TUFF ENUFF~! crew, "Huh? HUh? Get it now? Alphabet soup equals what guys...."

All together now midgets.

"A great name"

"That's right", stated Ahjkgfakhgfhka'agfkakjoversmith Rahl before getting clocked with two steel chairs via Team EGO. The duo of Team EGO just stared down at the fallen man and stated at the exact same time...

"Sorry guys, he was two big of a loser...even for this"

Super Nintendo Music.

Bricks Falling.

Some guy going "OW!"

Fade to black.

NEXT CHAPTER: TUFF ENUFF~! Episode 2 >>

©2002 John Leary