Extra Large

PIW Massacre
Nov. 23, 2002

A tent was pitched. And inside of the large green tent in the middle of the parking lot, some rave-style music was pounding. A long line of people were wrapped around the tent and heading out of sight. Inside, all that could be seen was flashing lights and smoke.

At the opening flap of the tent stood Trey Vincent on the left and Sean Studd on the right. Above the flap was a hand-written sign which read:

Admittance: Men, $5, Women, Free With Donation

At their feet were boxes. Cardboard ones. They stared at the hyper crowd surrounding the tent, chanting "EGO, EGO, EGO!"

"Good evening ladies, and you guys too. Welcome to the Team EGO party!" Vincent yelled out.

The crowd roared in approval.

"Gotta love strikes," Vincent shouted. "Now, the sign says it all. Ladies, if you have any questions about what you can DONATE, that will be discussed once you get up here. Remember, this is all about Team EGO. This is OUR party. Our rules. If you don't meet our standards, well, you won't be getting in."

Studd SNATCHED control of the speaking role.

"So, ladies! Step on up and start donating some saliva. Me and Trey's mouths are running dangerously low and we need some. So open up them pretty mouths and start donating."

The flap was spread wide open. Up stepped a couple of raver dudes who handed over the cash.

"Oh, and everyone going in, gets a T-shirt," Studd reminded.

"That's right."

Both guys reached down into the boxes and snatched some T-shirts. They each tossed one at the dudes. The boys opened up the shirt, only to discover the shirt was big. REALLY big. Like, four or five sizes bigger than themselves.

"Why is this T-shirt so big?" one of the raver dudes asked.

"When it comes to Team EGO, EVERYTHING is extra large. Get it?" Vincent asked. "Just put the shirts on and go get drunk ya dumb bastards."

What followed behind those two raver dudes? Tons and tons of hot chicks. A pair of identical brunettes stepped forward next. Studd and Vincent both raised their eyebrows and smiled widely.

"Could you donate a little saliva, baby?" *wink* Studd asked one of the twins before kissing her.

"Hey baby," Vincent greeted the other one. "Ever wanted to be on TV? I could make your dreams, come, true." Vincent and the other twin did some tongue sports entertaining.

The twins headed inside.

"Come one, come all, as long as we come about five times before the end of the night," Vincent called.

"This strike better last a really long time," Studd decided. "Oh girls, you forgot your shirts!"

Vincent and Studd held up tiny, tiny, TINY T-shirts featuring the Team EGO logo.

"But that will barely fit over my breasts," one of the twins said.

"Are you sure?" Studd asked.

"Pretty sure," she responded.

"Why don't you try it on and see," Studd suggested.

"OK,'" she said.

Vincent and Studd stared into the tent, smiling widely as she tried to get into the shirt.

"Oh, that fits beautifully," Studd said as Vincent nodded in agreement. "Why don't you try it on too?" Studd told the other one. Their smiles got wider.

Studd and Vincent looked at each other.

"Nobody parties like Team EGO!"

NEXT CHAPTER: EGO Party >>

©2002 John Leary