Entertaining, yet disturbing

PIW Massacre
Nov. 16, 2002

"We are so extreme"

"Yeah, we are ready for ANYTHING extreme"

"Dude, did you mention we're totally extreme?"

The scene opened up to a gray pinto that coughed up down the streets. As it went it went FLYING through traffic, by flying I mean 15 miles per hour (bikes were passing by it for christ's sake), it finally reached it's destination. It was a run down, hole in the wall place with a lit up sign that said "Dick Chain-E". The trio of the rejects from earlier in the night all looked up at the sign, as the letter "E" slowly fell off the sign and crashed to the cement. Leaving only "Dick Chain" left on the sign, with the letters 'D', 'C' and 'A' all blinking on and off. It definetly wasn't the mariot or the hotel inn, but it was a place they believed Jim Johnson was waiting.

"Dude!", said one of the rejects as he stummbled out of the pinto's backseat and crashed face first into the concrete. He looked up with a bloody mouth and smiled stupidly, "We're here! This is it guys! We are on our way to fame!", he bellowed out.

Behind him, the other five idiots, that couldn't even entertain a 2 year old baby, where all forcing themselves out the door, each pushing one another out of the way. The leader of the pack looked back at them and just grinned.

"Look at them, they are a 100% extreme! I told the world we'd be on Massacre, November 16th, and dammit here we are!", the leader said with a grin upon his face.

"Dammit MOVE!", stated one of the men.

"YOU MOVE!", yelled out the other.

"Umm...YEAH!", said the more idiotic one (must be REALLY stupid to be the most idiotic of THAT group).

And than suddenly...

"OOOOF!", all five men spilled out onto the concrete, all sporting "PIW RULZ~!" T-shirts on them...obviously make of nothing more than a black shirt and red crayon. Hey, we are talking about a bunch of hobo morons here, what do you expect?

"Listen guys", said the leader, who named himself "Main Event" Chris Styles, "We have to do whatever he has to do to get us in the ring", he stated with emphasis on 'whatever', "This is supposed to be the place of the toughest and most extreme wrestlers in the world right?", he asked as all five men answered with emphasis...

"RIGHT!"

"THAN LETS GO IN THERE, AND GET EXTREME!!!!!"

"YEAAAAAH!!!"

In an instant, all six men charged the door of "Dick Chain-E", which was now "Dick Chain", and kept on yelling "WE RULE" over and over again, for some odd reason. Suddenly, as the six men entered, another vehicle pulled up to the parking lot. This vehicle was a long black stretch limo, that had a pool attached on the end. In the back of the limo, in the pool, sat none other than one half of Team EGO, Trey Vincent. And next to him were two very well known porno stars. The fans cheered wildly as Jenna Jameson and Kobe Tai sat next to TV, slowly running their hands up and down his chest. TV just grinned as he sipped his bottle of Blackhaus liquor and smiled in pleasure. Suddenly, the limo stopped, and the roof window opened. And thus, the second member of Team EGO appeared. Next to him was none other than Sky Lopez! The male fans blew up as Sky Lopez was close to wearing nothing, struggling to get her top on.

"Seannn", began a whiney Sky Lopez, "Why did you stop? That felt so good"

Studd just cocked an eyebrow up, looked at the camera...and *wink*ed. He turned back to Sky Lopez and grinned, "Sorry baby, but I had to stop. We are at our destination, and we surely couldn't miss this...right Trey?".

No response.

"Trey?"

Still no response, but a mild groan.

"TREY!"

"Huh?", Trey quickly looked up from his daze, as Jenna Jameson quickly popped her head up from under the water, moving away from Trey's, ahem...pride. Trey quickly looked up at Studd and grinned, "Sorry about that, TV was alittle preoccupied in an orgasmic state that I have been...ahem...practicing alot lately. So what's up Sean?"

Studd just grinned and threw off his sunglasses, "We're here Trey. The losers just went into the place, we surely couldn't miss this..."

Trey smiled in glee and quickly turned his head to "Dick Chain-E", as did Studd.

Cut scene to inside the hole in the wall.

The six rejects, led by "Main Event" Chris Styles (Who? Go here http://piwwrestling.net/forum/viewtopic.php?TopicID=338 or Just go along with the damn story). The six men's chant of "WE RULE" slowly died down as they heard cheap porno music in the background, being a rhythm to the manly groans that echoed through out the place. Suddenly the two members of the Lynch Mobb looked through a window, and suddenly were amazed. Inside the room they were looking in, one man was on top of the other...

"Whoa!", yelled out a surprised Lynch Mobb member, "That's an effective manuever, what's it called?"

The other Lynch Mobb member slapped his partner in the back of the head in frustration, "You idiot, don't you know what the hell you're looking at?"

He shook his head.

"DUH! You're a complete moron. Don't you know anything about this world? That is obviously the Ancient Los Angeles Chokehold! DUH!", the fans blew up in laughter as the idiocy of the Lynch Mobb was obvious, "I mean, that is one of the most EXTREME moves of them all..TAKES NOTES!"

Quickly, the other Lynch Mobb member pulled out a notepad from his back pocket and began sketching the move on the sheet of paper, as his partner looked on as the groaning got louder until full climax. "Wow, what a finish, he made his spew out puss! That's so damn extreme!", the fans were both disgusted, but also laughing histerically.

Suddenly, the man named Gary Michaels stepped from the bathroom, holding his eye in pain and moaning in agony. "Main Event" Chris Styles looked at his partner in confusion and slapped Michaels on the shoulder, "What happened to you?"

"I don't know, I was just looking in this hole in the wall, and suddenly something hard poked me in the eye...and it HURT! It even left a residue! I'M BLINDED!", the fans literally blew up in laughter, as Styles just began to check on his partner's eye. And as the six men all continued on their own ventures, suddenly a deep voice came from behind the shadows of the hole in the wall.

"Excuse me", said the loud, almost satan like, voice, "May I help you boys?"

Chris Styles immediately stepped forward, "Yes! We are looking for Jim Johnson. Why you ask? Because we are looking to get EXTREME!"

The fans blew up as the man from behind the shadows stepped forward. The rejects' eyes went wide with terror, as a big 6'11" man in complete drag outfit stepped forward. His blonde raggidy wig almost falling off his balding skull, his black goatee, his make uped face, complete with a leather bondage outfit, stood their in all his monstrosity. His large arm came forward, and revealed a large Chain in his hand. A grin came over his face as he stepped forward.

"Well, I'm not JIM Johnson. But the guys like to call me...BIG Johnson", he said with a devilish grin, "And if it's extreme you want...it's extreme you'll get"

The six men looked at one another in horror, as suddenly the camera cut back to outside "Dick Chain-E", to reveal Team EGO laughing their minds off as they heard the entire conversation from outside. They were suddenly replaced by the whipping of chains, the bashing of brains, and the complaints of "NO, that's not supposed to go there...AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I'M BEING VIOLATED!", "NO YOU'RE BEING PINNED!", "THIS IS TOO EXTREME!". Team EGO were literally crying, as were the porno stars, as the six rejects were set up by the entertaining duo. The fans watching also shared in the laughter, as Studd nor Vincent could even speak.

Finally, after a long moment of laughter Studd finally placed the question amongst his laughter, "Hey..hahaha...Trey...hehe..how'd you find out about this place anyway?"

Trey just laughed, "Who do you think? The Hardcore Homo himself"

And as the laughter ensued...one other vehicle stepped up.

"It's Raining Men" blasted through the car, as a Pink Beatle pulled up the parking lot. Suddenly the entire group was silent, as Jamal Wilson stepped from the beatle, with a pink towel over his shoulder and boxer shorts for bottoms. He looked up at Team EGO and jumped for joy. His eyes went wide with happiness and his grin grew large. Studd could only cock one eyebrow up, as Trey's face suddenly became red.

"Heyyy, I didn't know YOU came here to guys", Jamal said. Suddenly he looked over at Trey, "Maybe you and I can share a session together baby", he said with a wink.

Silence.

More Silence.

Studd looked at Trey.

Trey's eyes went wide with rage.

"RUAH!!!!!!!", suddenly Trey had pulled a steel chair up from the pool water and leaped out of the pool, thank god he had swim trunks, "DIE YOU FAG!!!!". Jamal quickly took off into his pink beatle and drove down the street, as a lunatic Trey Vincent chased him on foot. Sean Studd looked at the scene and blew up in laughter, until he suddenly saw all three porno stars looking at him sexually. Studd couldn't help but grin back. He looked at Kobe Tai, he looked at Jenna Jameson, he looked at Sky Lopez...

Than he looked at the camera.

*wink*

NEXT CHAPTER: Temporary Unity >>

©2002 John Leary