TV Time For the Franchise PLAYER

PIW Massacre
Sept. 28, 2002

Trey Vincent The cameras returned to ringside. The fans were ready, eagerly awaiting tonight's main event. Wippit Guud vs. JCon.

The fans erupted. Even before Mike Hunt could make the introductions. Even before a note of entrance music could play. Even before the lights could change or any explosions could be heard.

Something was happening in the crowd.

A fight? No.

A flasher? Possibly.

But there was a lot of movement from a staircase on the side opposite the main camera. The camera zoomed in on the ruckus, and found a man in a black jOlting TV T-shirt, black jeans and black boots, wearing a pair of shades, walking down the stairs, with a plastic beverage carton holding six cups of beer. He was also carrying something thin under his arm and a title belt over his shoulder.

The he?

Trey Vincent.

He was being followed by a man about a foot shorter than him, dressed in a an LA Dodgers hat, big sunglasses, a blue and gray flannel shirt, baggy pants and sneakers. After taking a glance down the full aisle, he handed his supplies to his lackey and began to walk down the aisle. Vincent continued to eye the main camera on the opposite side and didn't stop until he was dead even with it. The camera picked up what the title belt said: BOB ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS.

He turned around to come face to face with a lucky, yet tubby, PIW front row fan. The dude appeared to be in his 30s, wearing an Erik Rave T-shirt and a backwards red baseball cap. A cameraman on the floor made his way quickly around and was able to pick up the conversation.

"Let's make a deal," Vincent said pulling out his wallet. "I've got two $50 bills that says you are gonna give me your seat."

"No WAY man, these seats OWN."

Vincent paused a moment, but then pulled out two more $50 bills. "Two hundred dollars for your seat. Then maybe you can buy a real T-shirt. Or an hour-long date. Whatever you're in the mood for."

The fan looked around at the crowd which yelled at him to get MORE money from Vincent. The man scratched his chin and eyed the money hungrily. He was tempted. Vincent waved the cash back and forth, back and forth. With his free hand, he waved his lackey to come down the aisle and join him.

"OK, I see you are a dedicated PIW fan. So here's what we're gonna do." He draped his title belt on the man in blue. He pulled out a rolled up magazine from his waistline. "You'll get $200 and this copy of Big Gazongas Magazine. Featuring an exclusive Jenny Jiggles pictorial!"

The fan's face lit up. He shook his head wildly yes. Vincent smiled and gave him the cash and the magazine. He then gestured for him to buzz off. The kid pumped his fists wildly and headed in the opposite direction, beginning to look through the magazine. He then stopped as Vincent re-took his title belt and sat down. The man in blue gave him his beer and Vincent smiled. The fan whose seat Vincent had just taken ran back to Vincent.

"Jenny Jiggles is NOT in here!"

"Who said she was?"

"YOU DID!"

"Huh? Sleazy, get this fool out of my face."

The man in blue began shoving the fan away. Vincent laughed at the scene as the little man pushed away the fan. Vincent put his beer tray down on the floor and picked up one of a blank white pieces of paperboard and began scribbling away with a marker in his right hand while guzzling a beer in his left.

"It's time for JCon and Wippit to try and entertain the Sports Entertainment Icon. Mr. Main Event. The sensation sweeping the nation. And the object of your girlfriend's masturbation. The ONLY Franchise Player in this business. Trey Vincent. But why am I here?" he said looking right at the camera. "All I know is it's gonna be jOlting. Stay tuned!"

The crowd was still buzzing as we headed to the main event.

NEXT CHAPTER: J-Con vs. Wippit Guud >>