Fake Porno Movie: Part 2
 'I need a really big box,' Trey Vincent told the doorwoman. 'Know where I can get one?'
She sneered. The girl was a little overweight.
'OH, no, no, no. I meant a cardboard box.'
'What do you need it for?'
'There are a bunch of pussies in my car.'
Her jaw dropped open.
'CATS! I meant cats.'
'Why are there cats in your car?'
'I didn't have enough leashes to walk them home. Why do you think? I'm trying to film a movie upstairs and I needed some cats for a scene.'
'That's sick! What are you planning to do with the cats once you're done?'
Trey paused. 'Hmmm. Didn't really think that far ahead actually. But I'm sure it'll be something funny,' he said with a smile. 'But that's not the point. Do you have a box I could stuff a bunch of cats into? I DO pay rent here, ya know. I'm paying so you can stand here and give me attitude. I can have you fired.'
'Fine, I'll go see if I have a big box.'
Later, somehow, Kendra and Trey got a box filled with cats of all shapes, sizes and colors to his penthouse. They put the box on the floor and Trey tipped it over.
'TREY!' Kendra shouted. 'Don't do that.'
'Oh come on. They all land on their feet.'
About a half-hour later, they were ready to get going again. Scene 2 was ready. After taking a quick review of the scripts, Trey and Jessica Payne were ready. See? She's back in character, not Kendra anymore. Trey is always in character though, so he's still Trey. OK. Ready? ACTION!
Jessica was back into her pizza delivery outfit. Trey walked up to her and pulled out a $50 for her. He rolled it up and held it out for her.
'I'm gonna call DiPorno's more often.'
'Pizza and porno. How can you go wrong?' she said taking the money with one hand and running her index finger down his nose with the other. 'Have a great day, Trey.'
'You too Jessica. It IS a really beautiful day today, isn't it.'
'Yes. Nothing could spoil today. No siree. Not a darn thing.'
She opened the front door.
MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW!
'AHHHHHH!' she slammed the door!
'CATS! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.'
'Well, if they're HERE, they must be EVERYWHERE!'
*DUN DUN DUN*
Trey and Jessica ran to the window and looked out.
'Oh my god,' Jessica said, her voice filled with fear.
'I know! PUSSY! PUSSY EVERYWHERE!'
Trey and Jessica looked at each other.
'I need a drink,' Trey said.
'Me too.'
'Aaaand, cut,' Trey said. Very nice. Let's go set up the bedroom for the next 20 scenes.'
'OK. What should we do with the cats?'
Trey put on his ponder face. 'Maybe we could go get some dogs?'
'Then how would we get rid of the dogs?'
Trey put on his ponder face. 'Bigger dogs? WAIT! I've got it!'
A few minutes later...up on the rooftop.
'What the fuck?' Kendra asked, who was carrying a bowl of milk.
*MEOW*
'Just keep teasing them with the milk. They're coming. Now get em over here. Yep, right there. OK. May I have your attention.'
*MEOW, MEOW, MEOW!*
'Thank you. Now, I have brought all you felines up here. I know you are smarter than you act. So I hope after you see what I'm about to do, you will make the wise choice.'
*MEOW?*
Trey picked up one of the cats and put it into the large catapult.
Yes, I said CATapult.
'MEOW, MEOW!*
The cats sensed it.
'Trey?'
'Yes Kendra.'
'This is getting ridiculous.'
'I know. But still. We've come this far. And I'm sick of flinging soccer balls at my neighbor.'
'TREY!'
They looked across the way and saw another man on another roof, flipping them off.
'WHAT THE? Oh, IT'S ON!' Trey yelled.
He headed for the release button.
*MEOWMEOWMEOW!*
'Protest all you like, but say goodbye to your little friend.'
The cat about to be flung put its paws up on the front of the little bucket dealie. His eyes suddenly went wide.
CA-CHUNK!
'RRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOoowwwwwwww' went the cat.
All the cats on the roof ran like hell.
'Hey, it worked!'
'OH MY GOD! DIRECT HIT!'
Trey pulled out the binoculars and looked through. 'OH MY GOD!' The cat had survived. His claws were all stuck into the man's legs, and his teeth, well....they were in between the legs.
'OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE' came the cry from across the street.
'That will teach him.'
'What did he do to you?'
Trey paused. 'You know, I don't even remember how this whole thing started. Oh well.'
Across the street, the man beat the cat with a broomstick as he ran around in circles.
'But I think I just won the war,' Trey said with a smile.
NEXT CHAPTER: Punishment >>
©2002 John Leary |
