Sharc

Sarah The Jobber Slayer

Death

BWAHAHAHA (morons, read)

Walking backstage is the newly crowned Falchion Champion, Jerry '5 Star' Campbell. He has a piece of paper in hand. He is scanning the locker room area. Finally he sees a white door saying "Trey Vincent"

He starts to proof read the paper, or letter in his hand:

Dear Trey,

I really enjoyed your poking fun at the whole MEW Roster. Grade A Entertainment man, seriously. Thats not why I'm writing this though. I just wanted to know if your the same Trey Vincent that played corner back for the New England Patriots? If you are its a real honor. Can I have your autograph?

x ______________________

Sincerly yours,

[Falchion Champ]Jerry '5 Star' Campbell

P.S - Don't you feel like a dick?

[Static]

Scott Young: Trey, you are a dumbass, you know? Jerry, you took the words right out of my mouth! Trey, you should really stop criticizing other before you look at yourself. Good night.

[Static}

[We open in Trey Vincen't Nissan Pathfinder. He is driving down the road, but luckily enough for all of you, he has some things to talk about.]

Trey: Hey dudes, you sure got me. I feel like a dick.

That is, I WOULD feel like a dick if there ever was a football player named Trey Vincent, let alone if he played for the Patriots.

I did find a guy by the name of TROY (with an O, an O! Not an E) Vincent, but he played cornerback for the Philadelphia Eagles. So no, 5-Star, that ain't me. I'm just a sports entertainment icon. But you can have my autograph. I'll sign it to the dumbest bastard I've ever known. BWAHAHAHA. Actually, I wouldn't waste the ink.

And how the hell did I get a big white door? The show isn't until Sunday. I got some big partying to do before then. I don't waste time at empty arenas. So if you toss that card under the door, one of the janitors will put your letter where all my fan mail goes, in the trash.

As for you Young: I can't hear you, your foot's in your mouth, that's why you can't talk.

And by the way Young, what does this mean: "I will win at Shock," a quote from the magical promo Shock and Trey Vincent?

If you don't even know what show you're fighting on, man, who should feel like a dick? Better make sure you're working for the right federation when you submit your promos. I'm sure boss Nethery will not be pleased with you. Bad boy!

And a few more notes:

I do not consider "your fist" an icon.

I'm not attracted to donkeys.

What?

Oh sorry, how about we try some new material.

Huh?

What, does Austin own the word 'what'?

Huh?

Reality checks are reserved for Roddy Piper (he even had a shirt made, thus you are now in violation of copyright and WWFE (which bought WCW from Time-Warner) no doubt will be coming to your home tomorrow to collect owed money for gimmick infringement.

Why should I criticize all you guys? You're doing fine without my help. BWAHAHAHAHA. And why the hell would I attack myself in my promo? I wanted to piss off all you idiots, not myself. I guess that would be, mission accomplished.

Good night boys. Keep trying. One day you might make a statement that isn't a complete joke.

[Darkness.]

NEXT CHAPTER: Die by the chair >>