Boring everyone 10 times by Jerry "0-Talent" Campbell

[J.D. Kool is sitting beside a lit fireplace in a big brown chair. He is dressed in a red silk robe and a pipe is in his mouth. He is reading from a really shitty book called "Boring Everyone 10 Times" by Jerry 0(that's a zero)-Talent" Campbell. The camera pans around and we see D.J. Kool reading from the Table of Contents:

Chapter 1: Introduction: If MEW closes, it's all MY FAULT.
Chapter 2: I really, really, really, really, really, really suck
Chapter 3: I fear Rumpy
Chapter 4: I hate trees and now trees really hate me
Chapter 5: Ink hates me too.
Chapter 6: My computer committed suicide
Chapter 7: Frigging computers. Are my words THAT boring?
Chapter 8: How I single handedly deliver the lowest-rated segment every week on Fury.
Chapter 9: If you read my book, you are a bigger loser than me.
Chapter 10: Trey Vincent's finger has more talent than me...nah, strike that....one hair on Trey's head has more talent than me....nah, strike that, a piece of dirt under Trey's fingernail has more talent than me....nah, strike that....a tiny piece of shit in his asshole that he has somehow missed for the last year (if he really were that unclean, which he isn't, but just for arguments sake) has more talent than me. Yeah. That's good.]

D.J. Kool: I give this book, Zero stars out of Five. If I could grade it any lower, I would. I've got to go watch a Trey Vincent promo.

[Finis.]

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