Extreme Championship Sports Entertainment

Elks Lodge: A Tribute To A Decade of Wrestling
Aug. 9, 2003
Written by Leary

The scene? Outside of the Elks. There stood a man with a bottle of Miller High-Life, the Champagne of Beers. You better recognize. He is sitting on the roof of a car, his feet resting on the windshield. That man is Trey Vincent. The self-proclaimed Sports Entertainment Icon and Franchise Player of the Internet Sports Entertainment Organization.

TV: So tonight, I have to face a man claiming to be a Hardcore God, and a man I learned to quickly despise when I set foot in the halls of Action. And these three worlds will collide tonight in a venue that was visited by the great ECW federation.

TV: Great, you ask? Don't I trash hardcore, bush-league sports entertainment? You bet I do. But ECW stood up and revolutionized this business. This business that sucked ass and denied that we were living in the 20th century.

TV: Well now, kids, it's the 21st century. Things are only going to get more exciting from now on. And you are looking at the man who is going to lead the next generation of sports entertainment. You are looking at the Sports Entertainment Icon. The IWO has no idea the talent they're wasting right here.

Vincent put the bottle of beer to his lips for a swig. He wasn't trying to be hardcore, like the Sandman. No, he was just drinking beer because he likes to drink beer.

TV: Everyone wonders why I'm even in the IWO. I came here for the money. I didn't come here to put on angles. I'm getting back into shape. For the last year, I've been wasting away. All I've done is talk and shoot all over pathetic enemy federations. The fWo. Asylum. Action. IOW. OSE. I live for poking people with a stick. And I did it like nobody else for the last year or so.

TV: But it's time to move on. The ring rust is gone. You've seen the matches I've put on here. Maybe you saw the match I put on last week against the hardcore legend in the making, Sharc. I destroyed his hardcore ass and showed that Trey Vincent can not only adapt, but adapt and destroy anybody who is thrown in my path.

TV: So we have the Hardcore God. I've never even heard of you, man. You ain't no God. You have no followers. You are just another scrub who can't get a job in a real company. Me? I have a job over in Action and a future one lined up. What have you done? Been in the gutter for the other 29 days of the month?

TV: My body's a bit battered from my last match. I fought in a bats and chairs match. And it was MY idea. I didn't beg off. I don't beg off. I see a fight. I go to it and win it. Tonight, the Hardcore God will worship the Franchise Player. You will learn why TV equals ratings when I teach you the sports entertainment lesson of a lifetime.

Another swig of beer and a glance at the sky followed.

TV: And Keith Scott Zimmerman. I know you've been waiting for it. The first time you might actually get mentioned as the best match of the night, when you aren't reviewing yourself. I read your silly columns at Action. You mark out for the wrong people, man. I'm the man all the sports entertainers want to be.

TV: But hey, that's cool, that's what ugly people do. They sit at their computers and type. You want to bring sports entertainment back to the dark ages, but you gotta understand something, kid. You're not like Benoit or Angle or RVD. You're more like X-Pac. Ah, that explains your heat.

TV: You boys are looking at the stiffest competition of your lives. Three-way dance. We're gonna bring the house down. Your first five-star match will come at the hands of Trey Vincent. I am the best sports entertainer in the IWO, and tonight I will prove it yet again.

TV: Just a reminder as to who in the hell I am. I am the reason that your girlfriend has a headache. The fantasy on every woman's fingers. The reason you are watching and the reason everyone came to this show. I have an ego, no doubt. Everyone may have an ego, but mine is just...bigger. And tonight, I'll show everybody just how big my ego is. And why I have the right to have the biggest ego in this business today.

Fade out on Trey pounding the rest of his beer and then tossing it away.

NEXT CHAPTER: Trey Vincent vs. Hardcore God vs. Keith Scott Zimmerman >>