One Expensive Bucket

[The scene opens in a deserted supermarket. The camera is walking down the front of the store, between the check out area on the left and all the aisles of food and other goodies on the right. Only one register is open. A bored chick is there and looks up from her book as the camera passes by. She looks confused. Before we get far past her, Trey Vincent emerges from one of the aisles pushing a shopping cart. In it is one item. A black bucket. Trey sees the camera and looks down nervously at his cart. Then to the camera. Then to the cart. Back to the camera, and once again down to the cart. He then smiles widely and pushes the cart toward the camera.]

Trey: A Franchise Player can never get a little privacy. But that's fine. I'm just doing a little last minute shopping. For Taylor. Yeah, for Taylor (he says smiling as if he just thought of a great lie). She needed a bucket for some water. You see, she is considering going back to college and I said to her, "If you go back to college, you've got to pull a prank on someone. And what's the greatest prank? Open up a door a little bit and balance a bucket of hot water on top to scald whoever walks in." (He chuckles.) Good times, good times.

[Trey pushes the cart into the line where the girl puts down her book.]

Trey: Evenin'.

Girl: Hey.

Trey: How you doin'?

Girl: (After rolling her eyes.) I'm doing all right.

[Trey reaches into his cart and pulls out the bucket. He looks inside and then looks at the camera.]

Trey: Look out!

[Trey shoves the cameraman to the ground and the camera goes rolling around. In the background, in addition to the rattling camera, we hear beeps as items are scanned.]

Cameraman: What's up with that?

Trey: Sorry dude, thought I saw a mosquito.

Cameraman: A mosquito?

Trey: Are you hard of hearing?

Cameraman: What?

Trey: What?

[We hear the sound of objects being placed into a bag. All we can see is the long white tiled floor.]

Girl: That will be $16.89.

Trey: Cool.

[The cameraman picks up the camera and we return to see Trey handing the girl a $20.]

Girl: What's the bucket for? (she asks as she pulls out change for him.)

Trey: Tune in Sunday night to EWS and maybe you'll find out.

Girl: Is that a channel?

Trey: No, it's a sports entertainment show. I'm the star.

Girl: Whatever (she says handing him back his change and a receipt).

Trey: Must get lonely in here, all by yourself.

Girl: Yeah.

Trey: How would you like to live a dream. Imagine it. You lay down on this little black rubber conveyor belt that rolls up the groceries to you. Completely nude. And the sports entertainment icon above you. You like the sound of that? C'mon, admit it. You're looking at Trey Vincent like you want it, but you're afraid. You got nothing to fear. We're all alone.

Girl: You want to go one on one with a lonely 19-year-old woman right here, right now?

Trey: You'd like that, wouldn't you? Too bad honey. I've got a rich girlfriend and live in a mansion. Do you really think I'd risk the Franchise's crotch with all the crabs you've probably got running around in your panties?

[Trey picks up his bag and walks away from her toward the exit.]

Girl: Jackass. (She looks at the camera.)

Cameraman: How you doin'?

[Fade out.]

NEXT CHAPTER: Trey Vincent vs. Endurance vs. Crush vs. Yokashi >>

©2001 John Leary