The TV Show 2: KroW

Pressure Point 63
June 9, 2003
Writers: John Leary + Paul Levine

The cameras focused in on the ring. Instead of a mat, a forest green carpet. A late night TV show looking desk, not a table like last week. This could only mean one thing.

The ReedYoungTron! lit up with a television showing static. It was then blasted with a sledgehammer and green light came out like water, filling the screen. The TV Show rolled across the screen as "Big Ego's" by Dr. Dre hit.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the TV Show, starring Trey Vincent. Tonight, Trey welcomes KroW!"

Pop.

"Tonight, featuring Hate Mail! And now, the man of the hour, the biggest star in Action! and the entire sports entertainment world, Treeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy, VINCENT!"

Pretty decent pop from the crowd as Trey Vincent stepped out, tonight clad in a TV = Ratings! T-shirt and black leather pants. He looked around at the crowd and waved as he walked out to his stage, the ring. Once there, he got behind his desk, smiling, and took a seat in his black leather chair.

"Wow. Thank you all. You are the real stars of this show. Just kidding! Anyhow, I'd like to welcome all of you to the second edition of The TV Show. Last week sure was a treat with LLB. Couldn't have a bigger guest in Action. I guess. Alright then. Tonight, I'm going to introduce a new feature. This is called Hate Mail.

"Now. Let me explain this first of all. You see. Every once in a while, Action gets death threats, marriage proposals, offers for penis enlargements, the basic drill. But this week, Action was flooded with faxes in response to Trey Vincent last week. And tonight, I'm going to share some of the most entertaining of those letters. Here we go.

Trey grabbed a stack of papers and banged them on the desk, looking around at the crowd with his cocky smile, getting a few laughs from the crowd.

"Yes, this is sports entertainment. You won't get this sort of thing ANYWHERE else. Alright. Letter number one. LLB is the biggest disgrace for a lawyer I have EVER, seen. Signed, Johnnie Cochran."

The crowd got a good laugh out of that one.

"Hate mail number two. Why would you waste your time with somebody as boring as Kayden Paulton? Huh? LLB. What a joke. The Action champion. Whatever. Trey. YOU should be the Action! Champion in my humble opinion. You are my god. You are the best damn sports entertainer period. Isn't that cute, he actually wrote period and then remembered to put in a period. Anyhow. Trey. I'm glad you put LLB in his place. It's about time. You are the Franchise Player, not LLB. Signed. Roland Miles Ermann. Wow. That's nice, Rowe. Cheers!

"Well, we're running a bit short on time here, so let's move along to my first guest. Uhh, boy. This one oughta be cra--I mean. Entertaining. This should murder. My ratings! OK. Everyone, please welcome, KroW."

KroW enters and stuff.

"Have a seat KroW. I know it's no nest, but hey."

KroW stares blankly at Trey. The crowd has a chuckle at the stare.

Trey continued on. "This is a guy who's idea of a fun time...is taking a human being and skinning it alive...spooky."

KroW stared blankly at Vincent, still unamused.

That's when Trey rolled his chair a few feet away from KroW, getting a very good laugh from the crowd.

"*Ahem* Alright then," Trey said. "So KroW, how bout them corpses?"

That's when KroW stood up suddenly, perhaps a bit too quickly for Trey, who quickly rolled out of the ring.

"What I meant to say was, how you been man?" Trey said to a huge laugh. "A shame about that whole winning titles and closing down every fed you've been in."

"Get in here," KroW commanded Trey. For some reason, Trey obliged. KroW took his seat again, as did a wary Vincent. "You know, Trey, I could steal your life. I could steal your career and make you a vegetable." KroW snapped his fingers close to Vincent, well, as close as he could from the recoiling self-proclaimed icon. "Just like that."

"Jesus Christ man, did somebody steal your sense of humor, too?"

KroW grabbed Trey by the throat then. "If you don't start asking REAL questions, I WILL be forced to steal something you are very fond of."

Trey quickly covered his nuts.

"Not that," KroW retorted to a laugh from the crowd. "Trey, you don't need that anyway. I may be a bit strange but even I can see that Trey hasn't been very active out of the ring."

"Ohhhhh!" the crowd roared out! BURNNNNNNNN!

"Ever since the PIW, something changed Trey. Can someone say DRY spell?"

"I have a comeback for that, I'd just like to keep my eyes," Vincent said as he freed himself from KroW's grasp. He paused a moment to clear his throat. "Now, KroW, a lot of people are afraid of you. Why do you suppose that is?"

A VERY nice laugh on that one.

"Well, Trey Vincent would like to keep chatting with you all day, but we in fact have another guest. Some guy named Bobby Minio. I don't know who he is. But let's bring him on out."

Leary note: This was the end of TV's participation in this segment, so we fade out here...

NEXT CHAPTER: The TV Show 3: Duel >>

©2003 John Leary