Honeymoon In Hell

Pressure Point 80
Oct. 27, 2003
Starring Reed Young & Trey Vincent
Writer(s): John Leary & Roland

Backstage, in Reed Young's office, the camera rested on the face of Trey Vincent. He sat on the edge of Young's desk, but Reed wasn't there at the moment. "Carolina Young," was there as well, dressed up as the Virgin Mary. Fittingly enough, since Vincent was in his "God" costume still.

Anyhow, the moment of truth finally arrived. A week had passed since Vincent and Carolina tried to scam their way into Young's bank accounts and into control over this very company. Vincent was pretty sure this would be his last night in Action, one way or the other. He wanted to see what Reed had in store for him.

"If God impregnated me, then am I still a virgin?"

"You're pregnant?" Vincent asked. "Oh, man, you better be asking a rhetorical question."

That's when they heard the spooky office door creak open. With a mighty crash of lightning the camera switched to the doorway upon the face of Homer Simpson!

"Ahhhh!" came the reaction of Carolina Young.

Reed Young as Homer Simpson, that is. Vincent and Carolina looked at Young, who had his skin painted yellow like some crazed football fan would, and had a white T-shirt, blue pants and black shoes on. He also seemed to have shoved a pillow down the front of his shirt.

"Hey, boss," Vincent greeted. "Hope there are no hard feelings after last week. With me trying to marry into your company and get a lot of your money."

"Hello." Reed replied, twiddling his fingers as he pranced into his office… over to his desk, and then took a seat.

Trey cocked an eyebrow and got off the desk. "Nice costume. So anyway, boss, I was figuring, maybe, why not just get my last pay check and I'll be on my way, right? Since, I mean, I did what I was supposed to here with Sharc. And I gave you some great ratings. Team RATINGS and all."

Young didn’t seem to be paying attention though. Instead he just opened his desk… and saw a bunch of doughnuts sitting there.

"O0o0o0o… doughnuts…" Young said, tilting his head sideways before drooling. Then he reached inside his desk, and took one. "O0o0o0o… doughnuts…"

“I get it. The silent treatment, right? You're too upset to make words out of your anger. I get that. But, you know. You are still my boss," Vincent said, tapping his fingers on the desk. "I'm sure you'd love to just pay me and get rid of me until we all forget about this whole, ugly mess."

Young looked up at TV. "God eh?" He asked. "Got any beer, God?"

"Do I? I have kegs full of it in my locker room right now. Assuming, well, that Adam Nowell isn't drinking too much of it. We probably shouldn't have left him alone in there," Vincent said to Carolina, looking concerned.

"How much damage could he do? There was a LOT of beer in there."

“You just had to say that out loud, didn’t you?”

Young paused. "Duff or Fudd?"

"Miller High-Life, actually." Vincent paused. "God's gift of beer. And I should know, being God and all."

"Miller... high... life?" Reed asked. "God, the other day I was so desperate for a beer, I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers. I could really go for a beer right now."

"Beer good. Beer very good." Vincent didn't know what to do with 'Homer' here. He wanted to get paid and get out, but Reed has become, well...was Homer the ultimate idiot? Or was Reed?

"So…" Reed said. "How much for a beer?"

"Umm...$4?" Vincent said, not really sure what to say.

"Okay. Here’s eight." Young said handing TV a ten. "Give me two please."

"Listen, um, I'll go get you your beers. But, I would like to know what your plan is for me, tonight."

"Hhmm..." Young said. "I don't know?"

"I bet you'd get a kick out of firing me, wouldn't you? You'd probably love to open some sort of trap door under my feet and let me fall into a pit full of angry sharks with piranhas in their stomachs. But that won't fix what's wrong between us."

"Uh, Trey? Mr. Burns was the one who did that."

"Well, Mr. Burns was the boss of the power plant. He's the boss of Action."

"But he's dressed like Homer Simpson. And he's an idiot."

"Homer, or Reed?" TV asked.

She looked at him, telling him without saying a word that Trey could pick whichever one he wanted.

“So...” Reed said. “Beer?”

“Do you want to fire me?” Vincent asked.

“Do you want me to fire you?”

“I’d rather have my pay check.”

“Well, taking into account the beer you haven’t given me, I’d say you’ve lied to me again. Lie to me once, shame on me. Lie to me again, shame on you. Lie to me again, you’re fir—”

That’s when the door creaked open.

Kurt Angel walked in.

“Hello, Mr. Young. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“No beer makes Homer go something, something...”

“Anyhow. Reed. Sir. I’d like to ask for one last shot at Vincent. I don’t really take kindly to being impaled on wood. Just think, Mr. Young. You can put on the television.”

“I like TV,” Young said.

“You can drink some beer.”

“I like beer, too.”

“Eat doughnuts.”

“Mmmmm, doughnuts.” *Drool* “You’ve GOT a deal!”

Angel chuckled. “Looks like I’ll be seeing you in the ring. And honey, you ain’t no virgin, not false, SO not false. Whoo!” Angel said before leaving the room.

“D’oh,” Vincent said softly.

“D’OH!” came the reply from Young.

NEXT CHAPTER: Kurt Angel vs. Trey Vincent >>

©2003 John Leary