RATINGS Attack

Pressure Point 75
Sept. 15, 2003
Starring: Reed Young, Trey Vincent & LLB
Writer: Roland & Leary

Straight off the commercial break…

“The Riches” by Jane’s Addiction.

I’M COMING AGAIN…

Cue the new theme, as sparkles fell from the ceiling, and out Reed Young came to a massive amount of boos. There was no wheelchair this week… but Reed still had some bandages wrapped up around the outsides of his body… and one massive one around his forehead.

As Young stood at the top of the ramp, the silver sparkles still falling from the ceiling to the beat of his brand new theme, did Trey Vincent then follow, even collecting more boos from the Crowd as he did.

Together, Team RATINGS~! marched down the ramp, as they rolled into the ring, while the sparkles just continued to fall from the roof.

New entrance = new marks = new RATINGS!. That’s how Reed saw it. He took a microphone from Pat Hoskins as he stood there and waited for his theme and the sparkles to stop all together.

“Hello Las Vegas!” He said to boos from the Crowd. This was not Las Vegas, but when was Young ever right? “And I hope all of you are having fun watching Pressure Point!”

Well, the Fans did cheer at that… slightly.

But before Reed Young could go any further, he turned, seeing TV standing there… as the Fans booed him on. Nevertheless, smiling, Young tossed him the mic.

“Listen TV viewers, relax for a moment. I know you’re all still in shock that LLB beat me last week.”

The Crowd cheered, being reminded of that outcome.

“Thank you. But really, this is not a time you should be cheering me like that. You see, for the first time in Action, I was pinned. And it sucks. It sucks a suckload of suck, if I can reuse that phrase again. And to thank for this? A man named Kurt Angel.

Now let me tell you all something. Kurt Angel sucks! He comes from BOB, which tells you everything you need to know. I don’t know why he is here or who signed him, or even if somebody did sign him. But he is here and I’m gonna go on record to say I don’t like it. But all in due time, Kurt Angel will pay for what he did to me last week. ‘Heavenly Slam’? ‘Angel Lock’? That doesn’t fly with the ‘Sports Entertainment Icon’.

There will be payback. In the meantime, I was disappointed to see that nobody in Action could be bothered to accept an open challenge I issued. I posted it backstage. Apparently everyone is scared of Trey Vincent. And you should be. They know I’d teach them the Sports Entertainment lesson of a LIFETIME!”

In the background, Young was shaking his head in disbelief. Then he asked for the microphone.

“TV = RATINGS~!”

Vincent snatched the microphone. “You’re damn right there, Boss. Anyhow. I’m honestly getting paid either way, so I really shouldn’t care if I’m sports entertaining or not tonight. Let’s face it. I do make the roster look like an embarrassing group of amateurs when I put on my sports entertainment boots. And LLB SUCKS!

Now, just to update everybody. It’s been seven days and I’ve yet to hear from Michelle Branch, the future Michelle Vincent. I know you’re saying, Trey, you’ve got no shot at her. But you know what I’ve got to say to you if you’re thinking that? Simply that you are stupid short bus riding, no-talent having feckers!”

The Crowd booed at the verbal assault.

“Thank you! And BUY JEEP! Often. Once a year at least! Because Jeeps = GOLD! And I have to contractually say that for the next several weeks for them giving me that beautiful forest green number! Stay tuned!”

The Fans booed for the blatantly shilling Vincent as he tossed the microphone back to Reed Young.

Firstly, Reed smiled from ear to ear. And then he spoke. “It seems to me, Trey, that you need some sexual healing… or, rather in this case, some wrestling healing. LOL I’m a fucking riot!” Young shouted. “So you know what… I’m going to let you take your frustrations out tonight on one of the toughest opponents (Valley Girl) EEEVVVEEERRR! (/Valley Girl).”

Trey’s eyes opened.

“Yes, if no one wants a piece of TV, well then I MAKE them want a piece of TV. Tonight you will fight the toothpick… Woodchuck Bill!”

The Fans cheered at hearing his name, but then again most of them booed too. Sure, they liked Woodchuck… but they knew the methods behind picking him.

“But that isn’t all I’m booking right now… oh hell no to quote an inferior wrestler…” Young paused. “LLB, for pissing me and TV off last week, well, it’s come to my attention that you want a piece of Chris Mezz.”

Duh~!

“Now, you know what, I’ll be honest… I don’t even know where Chris Mezz is, and I’ve barely even talked to him either… but I did see him here tonight, so that’s why I’m going to book the following: …”

Once again, Young paused. But this time it was on purpose… and it was a long pause too. One that made the Fans boo loudly, waiting for something to happen.

“Oh yeah!” Reed snapped. “I forgot…”

He paused again, this time for longer.

“BBBOOOOOO!!!”

“Sharc, you had NO RIGHT in jumping Chris Fox last week, and yes, Christopher speaks the truth when he tells you to watch, your, back… because tonight, hell as a matter of fact RIGHT NOW, I’m booking a tag team match! It’s Sharc and LLB against the Chris’. Chris Mezz… and Chris Fox.”

The Crowd roared with approval, as some of them began a chant for LLB, while others began a chant for Sharc.

And no sooner than this, did “Testify” boom over the loudspeakers.

Jesus did the people go mad.

Out LLB marched, microphone in hand, a grin on his face. His theme song died down as he began to pace up and down the rampway, keeping his eyes locked on Reed Young.

“Boys.” He said, addressing Team RATINGS~!. “How are you two today?”

TV spoke up. “I’m go-”

“OBJECTION!” LLB shouted… and the Fans laughed. “The Jury doesn’t care!”

A voice echoed throughout the Arena then. “Sustained.”

::Shrugs:: So it was too much like The Rock… does anyone remember him anyways? He’s in movies now, people.

“LLB! LLB! LLB!” The Fans chanted.

“Reed… you might have done the smartest thing yet…” LLB stated. “And I actually thank you for that.”

This time, LLB paused. “By the way…” He said, resting his chin on his fist. “Hope your back’s okay. You know… from your little… uh… trip last week.”

LLB reenacted the event of last Monday, where he had speared Reed Young right out of his wheelchair.

Beginning to grow mad at this “drama” LLB was putting on, Young raised the microphone to his face and spoke. “That’s enough! Somebody start the damn match!”

And as LLB walked down the ramp… “Five Minutes Alone” by Pantera cued up, as the Fans roared in approval… and out came Sharc.

“Good luck boys.” Reed Young said as he exited the ring with Trey Vincent beside him. “You’ll need it.”

NEXT CHAPTER: Woodchuck Bill vs. Trey Vincent >>

©2003 John Leary