Conan The Leprechaun vs. Midnight Cowboy

PIW Massacre
July 27, 2002

All for me Grog was played over the PA system and the crowd erupted into a riot of cheers and cries as the girls waved frantically. Suddenly Conan the Leprechaun came out from behind the curtains shortly followed by the brunette seen early on the video. Apparently she was called Lisa, it didn’t matter really, she was so damn hot. They both made there way into the ring where Conan grabbed the microphone.

He let out a quick chuckle as he repositioned his shiny helmet and looked round the arena at the crowd.

"Well…A heard Sharc aint gonna make it tonight, apparently he’s working his other blo….job somewhere." again he chuckled but this time accompanied by Lisa who continuously rubbed his pert little bottom.

"Wit Sharc all tied up, and this little lady wanting me to kick some eejit’s rear end aym gonna make a wee challenge."

Lisa leant over and whispered something into his ear and burst into a fit of hyterics.

"Yih did you see him kissing me….what a gom. Last time I heard he was doing the YMCA somewhere."

The crowd seemed to cheer at this point, they were really seeming to warm to Conan and the mysterious Lisa.

"So. Anyone want there eye dyed?"

He looked around.

"Anyone want there snot broke?"

He continued to stare at the ramp.

"Anyone want there teeth in a bag?"

Still no one appeared.

"Com on ya bleedin mules!"

At this point he was getting frustrated. He paced back and forth across the ring , whilst Lisa just stood there looking pretty.

"Simple Kind of Man" by Lynard Skynard played as the atmosphere turned to one of shock and excitement because that could only mean one person was coming out, Midnight Cowboy. Midnight Cowboy limped onto the ramp and tossed his hat to a pro-Midnight Cowboy section that proceeded to furiously fight over it. Cowboy then limped his way to the ring.

The match started with Leprechaun running full blast towards Midnight Cowboy who just sidestepped and tripped the little guy. However, Leprechaun wasn't one to be embarrassed on television, so he got up and blitzed Midnight Cowboy with a fury of punches. In desperation, Midnight Cowboy quickly turned the tide back in his favor by landing a swift punch to Lep's face. Following up with another and another. Midnight Cowboy then attempted to follow it up with a power bomb, but his right leg collapsed under the pressure. Realizing Midnight Cowboy's fault, Conan the Leprechaun quickly got up and started to kick Midnight Cowboy.

Realizing he must retake advantage, Midnight Cowboy pulled Conan's legs right out from under him. Midnight Cowboy then crawled on top of Conan and began to punch, but Conan quickly squirmed out and put a solid ankle lock on Midnight Cowboy's right leg. The pressure of the ankle lock caused Midnight Cowboy to scream like a little girl as more pressure was applied. The rope were so far away, and it looked like he was going to tap, but instead, he spun around and kicked Leprechaun in the back of the head sending the Ireland native hard to the outside of the ring.

Midnight Cowboy then used the ropes to pull himself to his feet where he awaited for Leprechaun to enter the ring as the referee initiated the ten count.

1....

2...

Leprechaun slowly got up and slid back into the ring where Midnight Cowboy immediately began to stomp a mud hole in Conan's Irish behind. Midnight Cowboy then backed off and allowed Leppy to get to his feet and charge him. Midnight Cowboy once again attempted to dodge, but Leppy ran right into his right leg causing him to drop to the mat in immense pain.

As Midnight Cowboy clinched his right groin, Leprechaun began to stomp away viscously over and over and over and over as if he were growing blood hungry from every scream Midnight Cowboy let out.. The referee soon forced him to break, so Leprechaun bounced off the ropes and splashed face first into the canvas as Midnight Cowboy rolled out of the way. Cowboy then picked up Leprechaun and short arm clotheslined him hard to the mat following up with a pin.

1...

2...

Leprechaun barely got a shoulder up. Midnight Cowboy punched Leprechaun stiffly in the face a few more times then went for the pin again.

1...

Tw...

Almost a two count as Leprechaun kicked out. Midnight Cowboy yelled at the ref, and then picked up Leprechaun and lifted him up for a power bomb. As Midnight Cowboy, began to drop Conan, the power bomb was reversed into a Hurricarana. The fans went nuts as Leprechaun began to stomp a new asshole for Midnight Cowboy. Leprechaun then ran, bounced off the ropes and splashed Midnight Cowboy. Conan followed with a pin.

1...

Not even close to a three count, but Conan yelled at the referee anyways. He then got up and picked up Midnight Cowboy as well. He then punched Midnight Cowboy a couple times and followed it with a dropkick to the right leg. Midnight Cowboy gritted his teeth as he felt the leg give way once again, but he quickly grabbed the top rope and held himself there. However, Leprechaun was smarter than that, and he began to kick at the right leg of Midnight Cowboy's until Midnight Cowboy dropped in pain. Conan then went for the pin.

1...

2...

Midnight Cowboy reversed the pin.

1...

2....

Nearly a three, but Leprechaun kicked out just in the knick of time. Midnight Cowboy frustrated, then picked up Leprechaun and threw him hard to the outside sending him against the guardrail. Leprechaun clinched his back in pain, but he quickly got up and charged back into the ring to meet some stomps, but he fought through it and got up to his feet where he was immediately Irish whipped into the ropes.

On the rebound, Midnight Cowboy missed a big boot, and was met with a dropkick to the right leg from Leprechaun. Leprechaun then Irish whipped Cowboy into the turnbuckle and followed up by attempting a splash that missed. Midnight Cowboy had an opportune time to take advantage. However, his attention was drawn to something else. It was Lisa, on the apron. This distraction proved fatal as Leprechaun rolled him up in a school boy pin.

1...

2...

3...

Leprechaun, having won, rolled off of him and out of the ring where he laid, staring at the rafters. Midnight Cowboy had slowly gotten to his feet staring down Lisa when suddenly out of the crowd came Cell, who surprised Midnight Cowboy and dispatched him quickly with a DDT followed up by the Twilight as the crowd went nuts all before Conan realized what was going on.

NEXT CHAPTER: Hangover Hell at The Brass Rail >>

©2002 John Leary