Mary-Lynn Mayweather vs. Sharc (BRAND Name Championship Match)

Sharcbait
December 8, 2008

MM: We're about to get underway for our Main Event, Harry.

PHB: I'm literally torn here between my loyalty to Sharc and Sticks and Sto.... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I couldn't finish that one. Long live the reign of J. Leslie Voss!

MM: And here come the lumberjacks, Har'!

"Asshole" by Dennis Leary booms over the PA system and emerging from the back comes the new owner of BRAND wrestling, J. Leslie Voss. He stands on the stage and folds his arms across his chest, smiling widely and proudly and so sadistically it draws the bile from your belly and into the back of your throat.

As if he were leading an army, he charges a fist into the air and through from the back emerges Sticks & Stones. Midas Brick. Alex Wood. Ringo Boulder. The whole kit and caboodle. They make their way down to the ring in a posse with the fans booing enormously as Voss strutted like his idol, Ric Flair, down to the ring.

Positioning themselves ringside they all turned their attention to the next arrival to the scene.

"A Seafarer's Knot" by Fair to Midland brought out the challenger for the BRAND Name Championship, Mary-Lynn Mayweather. The 5-foot-2-inch, 125 pound redhead emerges from the back with fWo legend, High Flyer. He waves to the fans but they didn't seem that interested in the arrival of the special guest referee, they were too busy trying to vent their anger at Mary-Lynn. She is greeted by boos from the crowd as she heads to ringside and joins her new Sticks & Stones mates.

MM: The smell of a giant screw job is in the air, fans, and I don't like it one bit.

PHB: Um, wrong! That's not the smell of screw job. You just need some better deodorant.

And then "Empire" by Chimaira hits. Sharc, the reigning and undefeated BRAND Name Champion emerges, receiving a mixed reaction of cheers and boos, as the whole Texas crowd hasn't been completely won over by the 6-foot-2-inch, 245 pounder, Sharc.

PHB: Listen to this reaction, Morty. I bet you Sharc's gonna show his true colors here tonight, and I'm not talking about that bad blood red hair dye job. I doubt Mary Lynn has the stomach to be in Sticks & Stones.

MM: You think Sticks & Stones is swerving Mary-Lynn Mayweather?

PHB: She's too cute to be evil, isn't she?

MM: Evil comes in all shapes and sizes.

Sharc slides directly into the ring, filled up with enemies: Voss, Mayweather, Boulder, Brick, Wood, and the "special" referee, High Flyer. And he greets all of them with a couple hand gestures that would get him fined in other professional sports. High Flyer steps forward to check Sharc over for possession of any illegal possessions, which gave Mayweather her first opening.

*SMACK*

A shining wizard to the face, using High Flyer as a catapult. The lumberjacks leave the ring as Mayweather put her mudhole stomping boots on and won't relent, keeping Sharc flat on his face until his only option is rolling out of the ring — where all the lumberjacks then gang tackle, kick and punch the champion.

MM: You still think Sharc's with these guys?

PHB: Sharc's a sick dude, Morty. My sources tell me that he pays women to do this to him on a regular basis!

MM: Please!

While this mugging is going on, High Flyer is "chastising" Mayweather for getting his referee shirt slightly wrinkled. After several more seconds, Sticks & Stones finally drag up Sharc and shove him into the ring for Mayweather to make the cover. OnetwothreNO! Sharc just barely escapes the pin attempt and superfast count.

Mayweather quickly heads to the apron, springboards, and nails the champ with a beautiful springboard dropkick to the face. And she follows up with a hurraconrada before connecting with a snap suplex.

MM: Mary-Lynn is looking really good here against Sharc.

PHB: And she's doing it all on her own without any help from those law abiding Sticks & Stones lumberjacks!

Meanwhile, on the floor, Voss is all smiles at the happenings of the match thus far. And his smile only grows wider as Mayweather heads to the top rope to deliver a ***¾ Frogsplash! Pin. OnetwothreeNO! Just barely, Sharc is able to get his shoulder up to avoid losing his title.

MM: Mayweather's complaining about a slow count?

PHB: Brilliant! While they argue, Voss is choking Sharc!

But with a sudden burst of adrenaline, Sharc grabs Voss's hands and drags him into the ring under the bottom rope. He's about to wind up and nail him with a punch that would knock him the fuck out, but his attempt is blocked by Mayweather, who then hits a front kick to Sharc's nose, knocking him down once again. Quickly, she backs up and takes off, and punts Sharc's face as he tries to get up!

PHB: I think that was a 40-yard field goal. It's good!

MM: I think Sharc's nose is busted. Blood is raining down onto the mat.

Looking to inflict some more aerial damage onto Sharc, Mayweather heads up top quickly. She leaps once Sharc gets to his feet and attempts a top rope hurraconrada, but Sharc blocks it on her way down. He quickly traps her arms with his legs and plants her face and torso first for the Sharc Cage! Sharc rolls her over for the cover!

…

Voss is on the apron to distract High Flyer, natch. Holding on, Sharc drags up Mayweather for a powerbomb attempt, but she floats over into a sunset flip, rolls through bounces off the ropes and—

*SMACK*

Dropkick to the face again! As Sticks & Stones applauds from the floor, the crowd has now completely turned on the group and is unleashing deafening boos in their general direction. Again, Mayweather heads to the apron. Slingshot leg drop attempt misses, as Sharc quickly rolls out of the way. Voss is on the apron to grab High Flyer's attention once again while simultaneously tossing something to Mayweather.

That something? Brass knuckles!

Mayweather kips up and charges at Sharc. Punch! Misses! Sharc grabs her by the arm into a modified cobra clutch of sorts and then!

Crowd: OHHHHHH!

MM: Cobra clutch suplex! Mayweather was just dropped on top of her head!

PHB: Oh no! Illegal move! Disqualify him! Strip him of the title!

MM: Sharc just grabbed the brass knuckles!

Boulder was in the ring first. He attempts a monster clothesline, but Sharc ducks and nails him in the ribs with the brass knuckles. A Sharc Attack (Ace Crusher) quickly follows. One lumberjack eliminated, at least for the moment. But there were still two more coming straight for him, in the form of Brick and Wood. Instead of ducking or avoiding them, Sharc charges right at them shoulder-first, specifically, aiming for their knees.

Both men go down hard, clutching their knees in pain as Sharc stands over them. Brass knuckle fist drop to Brick. Brass knuckle fist drop to Wood.

The crowd then erupt in cheers for Sharc as the champion stands up and his eyes go right for the boss: J. Leslie Voss. The two men stare at each other for several seconds, neither man blinking, until Sharc runs to the ropes and hits the floor, chasing after Voss, who jumps the guardrail and runs for his life. The crowd boo the chicken move, but Sharc let him run. He had something else in mind. And it is under the ring apparently.

A table. No, make that two.

MM: And this match is about to get hardcore!

PHB: No! This isn't fair!

Sharc sets up both tables side by side in the middle of the ring and then begins stacking lumberjacks on them. High Flyer protests, but Sharc responds by grabbing High Flyer and sending him flying over the top rope to the floor! The fans stand in anticipation as Sharc heads to the apron to send the members of Sticks & Stones through the table with some sort of offensive move.

MM: I think Sticks & Stones are about to get some broken bones!

PHB: How can the fans be CHEERING this? Sharc isn't a role model! He's insane!

But Sharc doesn't do it. He stopped, and climbed down off the top rope, shaking his head. The fans are confused as Sharc jumps to the floor. The fans are rewarded. A huge pop fills the arena as Sharc pulls out a ladder from under the ring and slid it inside. He works quickly to set it up and then begins to climb.

The bloody Sharc is almost at the top before he realizes Voss was back. And he was on the other side of the ladder with what appears to be an ax handle! The weapon doesn't make a nice loud noise as it cracks Sharc's skull, but Sharc falls forward, so he is essentially balanced on the top rung of the ladder on his stomach.

Voss uses the chance to clear the Sticks & Stones guys off the tables and then starts climbing himself on the side closest to the tables. He points to Mayweather and barks come instructions. She rolls outside of the ring and pulls a trashcan out from underneath the ring. She hands it to Voss who tells her to climb over onto the turnbuckle close by.

MM: Dear lord, somebody stop this!

PHB: I hope all Sharc wants is to be in a wheelchair this Christmas, because that's what he's about to be! Did somebody order a table for two?

After a bit of a struggle trying to get himself into place with whatever he had in mind, they are ready. The trash can is over Sharc's head. He gives a quick look behind to check on the table situation, Voss lifts Sharc onto his shoulder and the flight begins.

Voss conducting a spinebuster slam and Mary-Lynn times her jump from the top rope just right, putting her hands over the trash can just before impact.

Oh.

My.

Fucking.

God.

*CRUNCH!*

SPIKED vDRIVER (SPINEBUSTER) THROUGH THE TABLES!

The crowd lets out a roar of disbelief at what they have just seen as the tables explode on impact and both men are down, unmoving. Mayweather forcibly shakes her head in disbelief looking at the scene at her feet. High Flyer is back in the ring and screaming for Mayweather to cover Sharc.

The pinfall? As if there is any doubt now.

*DING DING DING*

High Flyer hands Mayweather the title, as she checks on the condition of Voss. The other Sticks & Stones members are all struggling with consciousness as well. Sharc is yet to move and medics were already swarming the ring to check on everybody.

MM: Fans, you have just witnessed a war. Her fellow troops sacrificed their bodies and their blood to wrestle the title away from Sharc's clutches. And they succeeded. Tonight, the victor, and new BRAND Name Champion, is Mary-Lynn Mayweather.

PHB: They say war is hell. Well, Mary-Lynn must be hell's angel!

Winner and NEW BRAND Name Champion: Mary-Lynn Mayweather

Voss begins to stir, his forehead is busted open and there is blood running down his nose at a steady pace. High Flyer helps hold the boss of BRAND wrestling up on his feet as Voss makes gestures for Mary-Lynn to grab him a microphone. Once received, Voss pushes High Flyer away and limps across to where the medics are tending to the broken down EX-champion.

He shoves them aside so he can get in his final words.

JLV: SHARC!

The fans roar their disapproval of the new owner as he struggles with breath, clutching at his own ribs.

JLV: You wanted proof? You wanted to know what I'm capable of?

Voss begins to laugh a little, which turns into a maniacal carcophony of laughter from the BRAND owner. Eventually he settles himself down and snaps as though a monster had overtaken his soul.

JLV: I AM THE FUCKING LAW YOU PIDDLING FUCKING BAND GEEK! I'M THE SHERIFF IN THESE PARTS! I. AM. YOUR. FUCKING. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD!

He reaches into the back of his wrestling trunks and pulls out what appears to be a small off-cut of a tree.

An olive branch.

JLV: This, Sharc, is your olive branch.

Mary-Lynn comes across with a Zippo lighter, igniting the end. Voss watches the flame for a few minutes before dropping the burning piece of branch onto the chest of Sharc. Medics are quick to swat it away as Voss gets down on his knees and right into the face of the unconscious Sharc.

JLV: You wanted proof, Sharc? You've got your fucking proof. You're on your own now, son. You made your hospital bed so fucking lie in it.

Voss spits in his face.

Rises to his feet.

Grabs Mary-Lynn Mayweather by the wrist and raises it high above her head for the whole world to see and to show her off to the fans of BRAND wrestling.

Mary-Lynn Mayweather is the new BRAND Name Champion of BRAND wrestling!

© 2008 John Leary