Kayden Paulton & Action! Team vs. Sharc & Bait

Make It Or Break It
March 23, 2003

(“Remember” by Disturbed began, as a preview shot of the Handicap Match was shown. First, an image of Kayden Paulton and Action! Team [as Kayden waved, smiles, and blushed... whereas Action! Team did poses]... and then one of Sharc and Bait [Sharc snarled at the camera, while Bait punched her first into her free hand]. The pictures then combined together, and froze.)

Ump: Well, we’re about to start this Handicap Match and-

Shaw: And I want to know... is who’s TRULY handicapped here? I mean literally there are handicaps to Action! Team... and Kayden Paulton is a fucking tart. There’s no doubt in my mind that THEY are the Handicaps in this one.

Ump: Well, where I agree with you that Action! Team does suck, Kayden Paulton has to be one of the best counter wrestlers in Action, and maybe wrestling today! I think he’s going to give Sharc and Bait a handful whether you like it or not.

Shaw: Yeah yeah.

Hoskins: This next Match is for one fall, and it is a Handicap Match! Introducing first... the team of SHARC AND BAIT!

(The Fans booed wildly as “Disciple” by Slayer played over the PA, and out they walked to boos from the Crowd. Sharc just flipped the Fans off his back as Bait focused on kicking Paulton and Action! Team’s ass when the bell would go for the Match.)

Ump: And here they come! Sharc and Bait to an outrageous amount of boos! It seems their enemy Fans have carried over from PIW, because these two are just not liked in North Carolina today.

Shaw: ::Starts clapping:: Yay for Sharc! Yay for Bait! YAY FOR ME!

Ump: Ugh...

Hoskins: And their opponents... ACTION! TEAM AND KAYDEN PAULTON!

(“Silver Jet” cut off Sharc’s theme song as Paulton walked out beside Action! Man and Action! Woman [who seemed rather interested in Kayden at the moment] to cheers from the Crowd. They marched down the ramp, as Action! Woman kept looking at Paulton... as if she was turned on. Regardless, once at the apron, they entered the ring...)

Ump: And Sharc attacks Paulton right off the bat! How fair is that!?

DING DING DING

Shaw: Sharc just clotheslined Kayden out of the ring, too, while Bait absolutely CRUSHES Action! Team with a double clothesline!

(The scene changes to outside the ring, where both men are getting up.)

Paulton: Hey Sharc!

Sharc: Shut up.

Ump: And Sharc with a right hand to Paulton, as he goes flying into the steel stairs! Now Sharc’ll toss Kayden over the guardrail and begin a beating throughout the stands!

Shaw: That’s left Action! Team in the ring, alone... with Bait!

Ump: I can only see this outcome.

Shaw: Bait’s hot, too. Dammit I don’t normally like blonde hair, but Christ... what a HOT blonde!

Ump: Bait picks up Action! Man... and yes! A powerslam in the middle of the ring! Now she’ll pick up Action! Woman, staring her straight in the face!

SLAP!

Ump: And into the ropes Action! Woman goes... to receive another powerslam! Bait’s just taken down two wrestlers here... and she’s wanting more! The valet picks up A!M, rifling right hands at him until she’s got him worked into the corner...

Shaw: Here it comes!

CHOP!

The Crowd: Whoo!

CHOP!

The Crowd: Whoo!

CHOP!

The Crowd: Whoo!

C-

Ump: No! Action! Woman’s taken the hand of Bait... but just at that second, Bait snaps around and crushes A!W in the side of the head with her elbow! Action! Woman falls in the center of the ring, as Bait will shove A!M to the floor, and head to the top rope!

Shaw: Make that the second rope instead.

Ump: Here it comes... and another elbow to the head!

Shaw: Folks, I think we’re going to go to a live feed in the lobby, where Kayden Paulton is fighting Sharc!

(The scene changed as Sharc was seen chasing down a groggy Kayden Paulton throughout the halls of the Arena.)

Sharc: Come here dammit! Get back here Kayden!

Paulton: ::Breathing heavily:: Hey... Sharc... this... is... a... good... Match... we’re... having... hehe... hehe...

Ump: And Sharc with another right hand! Now he hurls the ‘Passive-Aggressive’ into the wall, lowering his body as Paulton comes off of it... and... AND...

WHACK!

Shaw: A samoan drop on the bloody ground! Wow Sharc... you are hardcore!

Ump: More like cheap, this should have been IN the ring!

(The camera changed back to the ring, as Bait continued to beat up Action! Team.)

Ump: Bait’ll toss Action! Man out of the ring... as now, she’s got A!W all to herself! Action! Woman springs to her feet... looking for a right hand, and it connects!

Shaw: But Bait is only knocked back one mere step! Now she explodes forth... and a clothesline from hell! It was a short-arm clothesline... but it was good enough to flip A!W head-over-heels!

Ump: What’s Bait going for now!?

Shaw: It looks like... yes! It looks like a Boston crab!

Ump: The Boston’s crab’s been locked in... and it’s only a matter of time before A!W taps out!

Shaw: She is near the ropes, but with her IQ, I doubt she even knows!

Ump: Wait! Action! Man’s back in the ring... and he ACTUALLY hits another move than a right hand!

Shaw: Seriously, I’m making out right... ... ...

Shaw: ...

Shaw: Now.

Ump: Action! Man just nailed a LEFT hand, which leads me to wonder if he’s actually LEFT handed, since that left hand has knocked Bait to the floor!

Shaw: I bet he is, idiot.

Ump: What did we say about being like The Ringer now?

Shaw: Shut up.

Ump: But yes, with Bait down, Action! Man helps Action! Woman to her feet... as they collect Bait and throw her into the corner!

A!M: Sweety, let’s... you know...

Ump: A!W nods... and... oh my God! Oh... my...

Shaw: Action! Man AND Action! Woman are both getting down on their knees- JESUS CHRIST!

Ump: Action! Team’s punching the hell out of Bait’s... um... well... private area!

Shaw: NO! She’s a hot blonde! I’ll kiss it better! I’LL KISS IT BETTER FOR YOU!

Ump: Finally done with their assault, Bait falls face-first to the floor... as the Crowd cheers this all the way to home!

Shaw: I dunno if she’ll be hitting home anytime soon.

Ump: Ha. That was funny.

Shaw: It was?

Ump: Yeah. Now don’t say anything for another hour. You could spoil the moment.

Shaw: I can do that.

Ump: Action! Man and Action! Woman hug as they view the carnage they’ve just performed in the middle of the ring...

Shaw: I CAN DO THAT!

Ump: Well then, DO IT!

Shaw: Gotcha!

Ump: Action! Man now wants his girl to pick Bait up so he can hit more left hands... new found left hands, if I might add.

Shaw: GOTCHA!

Ump: Okay, you ruined it now Derik.

Shaw GOTCHA!

Ump: Ugh...

Shaw: Action! Woman is picking Bait up... as Action! *Man* goes off the ropes... looking for that left hand...

WHACK!

Shaw: He hits it, but Bait ducked! Bait just ducked outta the way... and A!W is down because of it! Now Bait runs at Action! Man... hitting him with a superkick! Damn! She’s one TOUGH bitch if she recovered from that beating!

Ump: Well, for the most part. She does seem to be in some discomfort...

Shaw: True. I can kiss it better though.

Ump: Derik, the only action you get... is with people like Rita McNeil.

Shaw: Hey, did you hear that Rita has the flesh-eating disease?

Ump: Um... no?

Shaw: Yeah, the Doctor says it’ll take fifty years to eat her up!

Ump: Ha. You know... for you, that wasn’t half bad.

Shaw: You liked it?

Ump: ... Kinda. But please don’t say anything for another two hours, okay?

Shaw: GOTCHA!

Ump: Ugh...

(Bait, who had fully recovered by now, or at least was hiding it well, walked over to Action! Woman... and put her back into the Boston crab.)

Ump: Boston crab locked in! It’s only a matter of time no- hey! It’s Kayden Paulton and Sharc coming through the Crowd... and it looks as though that neither man have the upper hand!

Shaw: Hey, I got another joke Liam!

Ump: Not now, D.

Shaw: How do you know when Michael Jackson has company over?

Ump: ::Sighing:: I don’t know.

Shaw: THERE’S A TRICYCLE PARKED IN HIS DRIVEWAY!

Ump: ::Starts laughing:: Not bad... not bad...

Shaw: I know! Get it... tricycle... Michael Jackson... ?

Ump: ::Sighing:: I get it.

Shaw: Yay!

Ump: ::Trying to stop laughing:: Anyway... Sharc and Paulton have just taken themselves back over the guardrail as Sharc looks to hurl Paulton into the steel stairs...

WHACK!

Ump: REVERSED! Despite that not being a wrestling move, you see what I mean Derik when I say Kayden has the skills to change the tide at any time!?

Shaw: I guess.

Ump: And not knowing that Kay and her boyfriend -I think they are dating- are back outside of the ring, Paulton rolls in, seeing the back of Bait... and the head of Action! Woman below... gasping for breath.

A!W: Please... honey... save... yourself... please...

Shaw: I think Action! Woman likes Paulton, for some reason.

Ump: Kayden frowns, seeing A!W in all that pain... as he doesn’t hit Bait, but rather walks to the front of her, as Bait, thinking she’s in harm immediately drops the hold!

Paulton: Oh, hey. Hehe. I was just gonna ask if you could let her go... but hey, neat! I didn’t even have to ask! THANK YO-

SLAP!

Paulton: Nice slap! Your hand-eye coordination is brilliant!

SLAP!

Paulton: Can you teach me how to do that?

SLAP!

Paulton: Great!

Shaw: The funny thing is, Kayden actually MEANS all of this! What a fucking nice idiot.

Ump: Stop it. The Ringer is a dope and I hate the way he says that word!

Paulton: Hey... got a mirror on you Bait? I think my face might be red.

Shaw: Kick to the balls... DIVING DDT! Bait with a diving DDT on Kayden Paulton... as she rolls him out of the ring, and exits as well. Now she helps Sharc to his feet... and... AND...

Ump: HANDCUFFS!?

Shaw: HANDCUFFS!

Ump: Sharc just dug into his tights and pulled out HANDCUFFS! Don’t tell me... yes, they’re going to HANDCUFF Paulton to the bottom rope from the outside of the ring!

Paulton: ::Slowly recovering:: Hey, what are you guys up to?

Bait: Nothing honey. ::Evil laugh::.

Paulton: ::Looking up:: Handcuffs! Neat! I had a pair like that when I was a kid... it was really, REALLY cool...

Ump: Damn. Paulton’s cuffed as Sharc takes the key.

Sharc: Sorry kid... but it’s time I showed you what I’m going to do to you soon.

Paulton: Aaww... neat man!

(Sharc holds the key in Paulton’s face and then throws it under the apron of the ring.)

Paulton: Oh... you lost the key! Awesome! It’s like a movie now!

Sharc: Um... right.

Ump: And as Sharc slides into the ring, he picks up Action! Woman, facing her towards KP!

A!W: I’ll always love you... KKKKAAAADDDDYYYYEEEENNNN!!!

CRACK!

Ump: Dammit! God dammit! In an instant Action! Woman’s neck is driven back into a reverse DDT! My God that might have broken her neck!

Shaw: Or maybe those are just unrendered lines.

Ump: Bait now rolls Action! Man back into the ring, as Sharc picks him up... and... AND...

Shaw: DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!

Ump: He’s not done yet, though. Sharc drags A!M to his feet... looking for a swinging neck breaker off of the ropes! But Sharc still isn’t done! He lifts Action! Man to his feet... hitting Kayden’s finish entitled ‘In Color’!!

Paulton: Nice move, Sharc! That’s better than me!

Shaw: What an asshole.

Ump: And lastly, as Sharc takes A!M one final time... he’s going for his trademark now... ‘BLOOD IN THE WATER’! Brainbuster connects!

Shaw: Sharc will pin!

Ump: ONE!

Ump: TWO!

Ump: THREE!

DING DING DING

Shaw: Amen this bitch is OVER!

(“Disciple” by Slayer played once again, as Bait patted Sharc on the back before their hands were raised, and they exited the ring right beside Kayden Paulton.)

Sharc: Wait. Wait I’m not done...

Ump: WHAT!?

Shaw: ::Excited:: Yes! Yes he’s not done! Yeppy!

Ump: Sharc rolls back into the ring, taking Action! Man and nailing another ‘Blood in the Water’ on him! Now he goes to Action! Woman, whipping her into... the ‘SPINEBREAKER’!!

Sharc: Tap bitch! TTTAAAPPP!!

Ump: And she’s tapping... God almighty is she ever! Paulton’s just watching on...

Paulton: Maybe... maybe you should... um... well, it’s okay if you don’t want to, but maybe, um, Sharc, you could... um...

Bait: Shut up and watch!

Paulton: Yes ma’am.

DING DING DING DING DING

The Crowd: BBBOOOOOO!! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!

Sharc: Tap bitch... I want you to tap louder!

Ump: He’s going to break her God damn neck! Action! Woman’s going to be killed in the middle of this ring if we don’t get someone down here right now!

Shaw: No! Don’t!

A!W: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sharc: TAP TAP TAP!! THIS... IS... HARDCORE...

Paulton: Maybe you should-

Bait: SHUT UP!

DING DING DING DING DING

A!W: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sharc: TAP TAP TAP!! THIS... IS... HARDCORE...

Paulton: Maybe you should-

Bait: SHUT UP!

DING DING DING DING DING

A!W: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sharc: TAP TAP TAP!! THIS... IS... HARDCORE...

Paulton: Maybe you should-

Bait: SHUT UP!

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING

Ump: And finally here come some bloody Referee’s! They roll into the ring and have fought Sharc off of the VERY injured Action! Woman!

Shaw: Damn... and it was just starting to get good, too.

(Sharc exited the ring and stood beside Paulton who constantly glanced back to the ring.)

Sharc: See, that’s hardcore. And soon, Kayden, soon... that’s going to be you.

(Bait and Sharc turned off in disgust, leaving a Referee to slide under the ring and look for the lost key.)

Paulton: ::Waving with his free hand:: See you soon Sharc, and you too Bait! I just hope Action! Woman is okay... but bye!

Shaw: What. An. Asshole.

Ump: One day... Sharc doesn’t know this yet, but the master of reversing maneuvers, and the nicest guy wrestling has ever seen... is going to get you. You may not know it... you may just laugh at it... but dammit Sharc, he’ll get you... and then you’ll be sorry. Very, very sorry... you heartless prick.

Outcome: Sharc & Bait via Pinfall.

NEXT CHAPTER: Broken >>

©2003 John Leary