Kayden Just Wants to Have Fun

Pressure Point 61
May 19, 2003
Starring: Reed Young, Kayden Paulton, Fiend & Sharc

Reed’s office. The utopia known as never doing work, and normally, almost always, day-dreaming about how other Federations, such as the fWo to name one out of many, absolutely suck.

Like, to Reed Young, the fWo sucked so hard that he was SURE if any of the fWo stars weren’t booked up in their long-term fWo contracts he would have them in a FLASH. Namely Lance Knight, but then Reed forgot that Lance Knight totally, TOTALLY sucks and that he’d be better off in some crappy dump like the Asylum... or something.

Note: Please understand that these are Reed Young’s personal views and by no way do these reflect upon the others inside of Action.

But anyway, in entered one man that would find even Lance Knight himself, to be a rather AWESOME wrestler.

Kayden Paulton.

“REED!” He screamed at the top of his lungs. “REED how are you!?”

Paulton just loved Reed Young. He was his Boss... and the best Boss EEEVVVEEERRR /Valley Girl. Kayden always was a little extra excited when around him.

Young looked up from his desk, and the nap he was taking. “Oh, hi.”

Paulton took about a three second pause before absolutely screaming his reply. “HI!”

If that didn’t wake Reed Young up, he was in one hell of a trance.

“Can I help you?” Young asked, only to cut himself off. “Look, if it involves me booking ANYTHING for ‘Juggernaut’, can’t we just forgot it? We don’t need another Match... can’t you just fight next Pressure Point? We not only have enough Matches... I may just take Joey Malone and Daniel Phillips off the card. It doesn’t need to be there.”

Everyone was in shock... but then people remembered this was Reed Young, and that he was just talking through his ass. Anyway, Kayden’s face lit up.

“But Reed, can’t we just book ONE more Match?” He practically begged. “I mean I thought about it right... and wouldn’t it be SO cool if I got to take on Sharc...” The Fans cheered at the idea. “AND Fiend...” The Fans cheered louder. “In a Triple Threat Match at our big event!?”

There was a gust of silence throughout the whole room, as Paulton waited for his answer. But realizing that maybe he wasn’t going to get one, KP continued.

“It’d be so much fun Mr Young!” He stated. “And I just couldn’t go without battling both Fiend and Sharc in an AWESOME contest at our big event!”

Once again, Paulton paused as he waited for a reply... but that wasn’t going to come.

Not yet.

For Fiend had just burst into the office... very, very pissed off.

“There you are!” He yelled, as Fiend shot forward, arms ready to tackle Kayden to the ground and hammer him some more. But just as Fiend ran forward, Kayden realized his shoelace was untied... so he bent down to tie it back up.

Crash!

Fiend hurdled right overtop of Kayden Paulton and onto Reed Young’s desk.

It didn’t stop there, though. Fiend got right back up and took another run towards Paulton, this time able to catch him and run the ‘Passive-Aggressive’ right into the side of the wall.

Another man entered the room. He saw Paulton go in on his monitor. And then Fiend. So he just had to go and see what was going on in there.

There really wasn't anything left to say at that point. Sharc looked at Fiend, then Paulton. Both men returned the gaze, and then looked at each other.

There wasn't much in the way of weapons other than furniture.

So that's where everybody ended up. Sharc charged at Paulton, but got back dropped on top of Reed's desk!

Fiend used Paulton's momentary time of enjoyment, grabbed him and whipped him into the concrete wall. Fiend picked up a leather chair and tossed it at Paulton, connecting.

Sharc grabbed a pen from Reed's desk, got on back of Fiend, and began stabbing away on Fiend's skull. Over and over. Until Fiend got a good hold on Sharc and ran him back first into the wall. But Sharc fell and was up quick. Both men started to pound away on each other with rights and lefts.

Nonstop.

Reed just stared at it, while Paulton got some enjoyment out of it. "Man, those guys sure are tough!"

"You three mofos realize I'm Reed Young and I'M THE BOSS, don't you?"

Sharc and Fiend were too busy blocking punches, landing a few, and throwing in a few kicks.

"And why did I use the word mofos? I've NEVER used that word in my LIFE. At least that I can remember right now. If you sucking people don't stop fighting, I'll throw you OUT! That's right! Because it'd be controversial! And controversy = ratings!"

"I don't think they're listening to you, boss," Kayden said with a smile.

"Shut the fuck up, will you?"

"OK," Kayden said. "But maybe you could ask nicer in the future."

"Fuck no!" Reed yelled.

"Alright."

"Do you want to be thrown out of the building by some of MY henchmen?"

"More henchmen?"

*CRASHTHUDTHUD*

"That would be mighty neat. I've never been thrown out of a building before. I usually walk. Because walking is fun."

That was when Fiend did the unthinkable. He powerbombed Sharc through Reed Young's desk.

The crowd was split with boos and cheers, as the fueding heels each had their diehard haters and lovers.

Sharc writhed in pain on the ground. Fiend turned his attention back to Paulton.

"HEY FIEND! You look like you need a hug!"

"Why the fuck are you destroying MY office?"

Fiend: "Ratings." Enough said.

"RATINGS! Yes, but now you're getting boring. Sharc is paralyzed, Paulton is queer and you, I just don't like you, Fiend."

Fiend lunged toward Young, who ran like a little girl into the nearest corner and got in the fetal position. Fiend only chuckled sadistically.

"WHATEVER! YOU'RE BANNED! HENCHMEN! COME FORTH AND BEAT THESE IDIOTS UP. And get me a new desk while you're at it. There must be a Staples or something around here. Sharc, get up you pussy. Get OUT! And take those splinters out of your body. Those are MINE!"

Kayden was first to leave. Security guards had gathered outside the door. When Fiend stepped out, he was immediately hit with pepper spray.

"RODNEY KING HIS ASS!" Reed yelled with happy glee. "And get a wheelbarrow for this man! NOW!"

The security guards began assaulting Fiend, kicking him and punching him in all parts of his body. And hitting him with clubs. Reed got bold as this went on and edged closer to the fallen Sharc, who pulled himself up to a sitting position.

Sharc stuck a middle finger up at Reed and mumbled a "fuck you" at him.

"I'm sure I have a broomstick around here LOSER! Fuck off! GO AWAY. Pick your spine up and throw yourself out before I do it for you."

Sharc swung at Reed who once again retreated to his corner.

Sharc managed to get himself up, and then was handcuffed and dragged out of the office.

"And beat the shit out of that Paulton idiot. Knock some reality into him."

Reed Young stared down at his trashed office.

"Ratings?"

---

SMACK!

There was just one problem. The office door had sprung open again, smacking Fiend to the ground... and there at the doorway, stood Sharc.

Instantly Sharc dropped to the floor and started hammering shots to the side of Fiend’s face. Paulton then rose, as Reed started to scream while all this was happening. He wanted nap time, DAMMIT! This was not nap time for the Owner of AW!

Paulton glanced up at Reed, smiled, and then spoke. “See!” He shouted over the ruckus that Fiend and Sharc were making as they exchanged rights and lefts on the ground. “These guys are just SO much fun!”

Kayden tried to stand, but as Sharc stood, getting the better of Fiend on the ground, he took Paulton by his long brown hair, and hurled him into the side of the wall.

“Stop it!” Reed cried. “Stop it!”

But Sharc didn’t.

Instead the former PIW star kept smashing Paulton’s head off of the office room wall.

“I said stop it!”

And just as Sharc was about to double arm DDT KP to the mat, Fiend stood, roaring into both of them with fists of fury.

“STOP IT!”

Young had had enough, and in picking up the phone in his office, he called for security.

“That’s it boys!” Reed yelled as they continued to brawl throughout the room, now into the area where Reed’s computer happened to be. This almost caused the Owner to faint on the spot... but he remained strong, or, well, kinda strong... and was able to count to three before security came in anyway.

It didn’t take the boys in yellow long to notice what was going on, as the guards quickly broke the scrummage apart.

“I’ve had it with you three!” Young shouted. “How dare you morons come into my office and just begin fighting! For that, why don’t the three of you settle this in the ring!?”

Paulton’s face lit up, and though Fiend and Sharc did not show it, they were thrilled too.

“That’s right! I don’t care if you guys want ‘the night off’ or not... especially you, Kayden...” Young gave Paulton a cold stare. “But at ‘Juggernaut II’... it’ll be a Triple Threat Match! Kayden Paulton, Fiend... and Sharc!”

With one security guard holding each of them back, Sharc, Fiend, and Kayden all grinned.

“Now...” Young continued. “Get the hell out of my office, AND get the hell out of the Arena! You boys are banned for the night!”

In truth, that didn’t matter to either one of them. They were all getting what they wanted... they were getting their Match at ‘Juggernaut II’.

The guards escorted the three Action stars out of Young’s office, as Kayden, the last one to exit, turned back around to thank his great Boss.

“You rock Mr. Young!” He shouted, blistering Young’s ears some more. “Thank you very much!”

The guard just turned Kayden back around and out of the office, as Young buried his head back into his arms... taking a small nap on his table.

NEXT CHAPTER: Sharc vs. Fiend vs. Kayden Paulton >>

©2003 John Leary